iDon't Wanna Be An American Idiot
by Color With Marker
Summary: mirage888's Super Seddie SongShot Challenge, based on Green Day's Broadway album "American Idiot"
1. American Idiot

_Don't wanna be an American idiot_

_Don't want a nation under the new media_

_And can you hear the sound of hysteria?_

_The subliminal mind fuck America_

_Welcome to a new kind of tension_

_All across the alien nation_

_Where everything isn't meant to be okay_

_Television dreams of tomoroow_

_We're not the ones who're meant to follow_

_For that's enough to argue_

* * *

><p>Freddie Benson watched as Sam Puckett walked down the halls of Ridgeway High School. Her curly blonde hair hung down past her perfect-sized breasts. Her body had all of the curves in the right places. She wore make-up that complimented her perfect skin and baby blue eyes. She wore a red and white long-sleeved shirt and skinny jeans that made her body look even more perfect. She was top model-gorgeous, but more violent than a champion fighter. She looked as if she hadn't eaten in days, when in reality, she was holding a stick of pepperoni. What was he supposed to do? He was falling hard for his own tormentor.<p>

Next to her was Carly Shay, his years-long crush. She had dark hair that hung down her very small frame. She had the perfect personality- smart, funny, and very calm. However, after being shot down hundreds of times, Freddie had moved on from his perfect neighbor, and was working on her not-so-perfect best friend.

"Hey, Freddie!" Carly chirped, waving happily. Freddie smiled and waved back, watching as Sam took a large bite out of her pepperoni stick.

"How's goes it, nub?" Sam stated, her mouth full of meat. Freddie felt pieces pepperoni land on his cheek and wiped it off in disgust.

"Ew," Freddie commented. "Is there any other disgusting things you want to throw my way?"

"I don't have Lewbert's wart or your mother, so no," the blonde retorted. Freddie smirked, not feeling any offense from what the blonde-headed demon had said.

"Sam, you don't have to be so mean all of the time to Freddie," Carly said, sounding slightly sad at Sam's negative approach towards people.

"Fine then," Sam said, rolling her eyes and walking away. "Hey, Gibby! Don't run away from me, Gibby!" Carly and Freddie watched as Sam chased Gibby down the halls. They laughed and rolled their eyes.

"So, are you ready for iCarly next week?" Carly asked, trying to change the subject of Sam's negativity.

"Sure thing, what were we going to do first?" Freddie asked, following Carly as she walked to her locker.

"I'm debating between starting off with 'Messing With Lewbert' and the pathetic play," Carly responded as she opened her locker.

"I think we should end with 'Messing With Lewbert,' just in case another accident happens," Freddie stated. "That way we won't have to stop the show to make sure he isn't seriously injured. Remember the muffin basket?"

"Yeah," Carly said, remembering when they had a muffin basket accidentally send their nasty doorman, Lewbert, to the hospital i the middle of a webcast. "Then we'll show the clip with those kids who launched kiwis at their neighbors and..." Carly noticed that Freddie was staring at something. She looked to see that he was staring at Sam, who was mugging an unconscious Gibby. "Freddie?" Carly asked, waving her hand in front of Freddie. He was startled and jumped back.

"What?" he snapped.

"Why were you staring at Sam?" A smile crept onto Carly's face, and Freddie turned red.

"I... uh... need to get my history textbook!" Freddie lied, running to his own locker. He hit is head against it. He was glad that Carly didn't follow him, but rather tried to stop Sam from going through Gibby's pockets.

"No one can know," Freddie muttered to himself. "I'm such a damn idiot!"


	2. Jesus of Suburbia: Jesus of Suburbia

_And there's nothing wrong with me  
>This is how I'm supposed to be<br>In a land of make believe  
>That don't believe in me<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie was sitting down on the couch next to Carly, who was sitting in between him and Sam, watching <em>Girly Cow<em> uncensored. They found it in Spencer's room earlier that day, and they had seen about two episodes before Spencer came into the room. He screamed and ran over to the television. He turned it off and stood in front of it.

"Spencer!" Carly exclaimed, standing up.

"I said to never go in my room!" he shouted angrily.

"Well, look at the time," Sam said, glancing at Freddie and pointing to her wrist.

"Oh, yeah, it's getting late you guys..." Freddie said, looking around for a clock.

"But it's only five in the afternoon," Spencer said, giving Sam and Freddie a weird look. "Why would it be late-?"

"Let's go to the Groovy Smoothie!" Freddie shouted. "Drinks on me! Sam?"

"What are we waiting for?" Sam exclaimed. "Those smoothies won't drink themselves!" Sam and Freddie grabbed their bookbags before running out the door. They could hear Carly and Spencer's shouts from down the hall as they stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the lobby.

"That was close," Freddie said, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths.

"You can say that again," Sam agreed, leaning on the wall next to him. She looked over, confused. "Were you serious about getting smoothies?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Why didn't you wait for Carly or Spencer then?"

"They were fighting, and I wanted to go with you." Freddie realized what Sam was getting at, and silently cursed himself.

"Why me?" Sam asked, standing up straight. "You hate me! And you have, like, the world's biggest crush on Carly!"

"Well," Freddie said, standing up and turning to face Sam. "Maybe I wanted to go with just you for a change. My life doesn't revolve around Carly, you know."

"Says the boy who waited at his apartment door, looking through his peephole and waiting for her to come by," Sam retorted, smiling and crossing her arms. She had cornered Freddie, and he was struggling to think of a comeback. But he couldn't.

_I wasn't looking for her,_ he thought of saying, _I was waiting to see that blonde mane of yours next to her. It's been you for years, Sam. Why can't I get the balls to tell you?_

"Well, better than a bitch," he said instead. He suddenly kneeled over in pain as Sam kicked him in the groin. Pain shot through him, and he felt as if he was going to throw up.

"Listen here, Fredweird," Sam growled, "Just because you can't get her doesn't mean you have to be a dick towards me." She grabbed the collar of Freddie's blue polo and dragged him out of the elevator as it opened.

"What the hell are you doing?" Freddie asked, trying to ignore the great amount of pain he was currently in.

"I want my damn smoothie!" Sam snapped.

"So you're just gonna drag me there?" Freddie exclaimed. As they walked through the lobby, Lewbert looked up from a book and shrieked at them. Sam shrieked back at him, an angered look crossing her face. Lewbert screamed and ran into his office, stumbling over his chair. Sam smirked and pulled Freddie onto his feet.

"Let's go," she said, smiling as she walked out the door. Freddie just stood there and smirked.

"That's another thing that I love about you," he said.

"Come on!" he heard Sam shout.

"Are you ever patient?" Freddie asked as he walked out the door.

"Even if you were Jesus, I would kick your ass for making me wait this long for promised food," she snapped. Freddie rolled his eyes; no matter what, he knew that Samantha Puckett would never fall for a nub like himself.


	3. Jesus of Suburbia: City of the Damned

_I read the graffiti  
>In the bathroom stall<br>Like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall  
>And so it seemed to confess<br>It didn't say much  
>But it only confirmed that<br>The center of the earth  
>Is the end of the world<br>And I could really care less_

* * *

><p><em><em>Freddie sat in the Groovy Smoothie, waiting for Sam to come out of the bathroom. He prayed that she didn't just ditch him, like she had done time after time. He stared at her smoothie; a Blueberry Blitz, just like the one he was drinking. A basket of fries was sitting in the middle of the table, and Sam dipped each one into her smoothie before eating it. He hesitated to take a fry and dip it in his smoothie. He slowly ate it, and realized that Sam knew exactly what she was doing.

"It's good, isn't it?" Sam asked, startling Freddie. She walked past him with a long roll of paper towels wrapped around her left hand. "You didn't drink my smoothie, did you?"

"Why would I do that?" Freddie asked, confused. "And why is your hand covered in paper towels?"

"No reason," Sam stated, silently sipping her smoothie. Freddie looked around the Groovy Smoothie to see that there was surprisingly no one else there. He took Sam's hand and dragged her to the bathroom.

"Tell me the truth, Sam!" Freddie insisted.

"Okay then," Sam said, smiling. She opened the bathroom door and showed Freddie what she had done. He gaped at the white wall, which read "SAINT SAMMY" with a red handprint underneath of them. There was nothing else other than that.

"Wasn't there other graffiti things here?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, until T-Bo painted over it about a week ago," she answered shrugging.

"Where did the red come from?" Freddie walked over to the wall and pointed up at the words. Sam smiled and pulled a red crayon out of her back pocket. "A crayon?"

"Well, I didn't have any spray paint," Sam said. She threw the crayon into the trash can, and Freddie shook his head at his delinquent friend.

"Well, then how is there a handprint on the wall?" he asked, staring at Sam's wrapped hand. She smiled and unwound the wad of paper towels. She revealed a long scar on her hand. Freddie choked back a scream as he stared at the cut.

"Why?" he shouted. "And how?"

"With this," Sam answered, pulling a razor blade from her back pocket. She dropped it onto the floor and continued smiling.

"Are you insane?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," she answered. "What's the big deal?"

"This is the craziest thing you've ever done!"

"Aw, thanks, Fredwierd!" Sam gave him a small salute and left the bathroom. Freddie sighed and shook his head.

_Why, Sam?_ he thought. _Why does every crazy thing you do make me want you even more?_


	4. Jesus of Suburbia: I Don't Care

_Everyone is so full of shit  
>Born and raised by hypocrites<br>Hearts recycled but never saved  
>From the cradle always to the grave<br>We are the kids of war and peace  
>From Anaheim to the middle east<br>We are the stories and disciples  
>Of the Jesus of suburbia<br>Land of make believe  
>And that don't believe in me<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie walked down the hallway to his locker. He was glad that the two wrestlers that had lockers on either side of him weren't there. He kneeled down and unlocked it. As he put away his history textbook, he could feel that someone was staring at him. He turned to see Carly standing there. She was wearing a red dress that was above her knees and almost revealed her chest. A few months ago, Freddie would have drooled all over her. But now, he was unphased by it.<p>

"Hey, Freddie," Carly said in a seductive tone.

"Hello," Freddie said, smiling and giving her a small wave. He shut his locker and stood up. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much," Carly said, twirling her hair with one finger. She was chewing on gum, hoping that the minty scent would reach Freddie. "What about you?"

"Nothing, really," Freddie answered. Carly pouted a bit, upset that her attempts to get Freddie were failing.

"Hey, Carls," Sam said as she walked up to the two. Freddie struggled not to stare at her red and white striped sweater that hugged her body perfectly. Her dark jeans made her slim legs look even slimmer. She was even wearing heels, making her almost Carly's height.

"Oh, hey, Sam," Carly muttered. Sam didn't notice the nasty tone Carly had.

"'Sup, Frednub?" Sam said to Freddie.

"Nothing, really," he answered, his voice cracking a bit. "You still have that scar?" Sam smiled and held up an open palm. Carly seemed horrified.

"Sam!" she cried. "What did you do?"

"Go to the bathroom at the Groovy Smoothie and see for yourself," Sam answered, walking past them and heading to her next class. Freddie's eyes followed her, locked on her butt. Carly scowled and stormed off in the other direction.

"This isn't fair," she muttered. "Sam doesn't deserve him. He's still in love with me, right?"

"What did you say?" Gibby asked as she past him. Carly turned towards him. He was wearing no shirt, like usual, and eating a banana.

"Nothing, Gibby, why do you ask?" Carly asked rudely.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" he cried, walking away. Carly sighed.

_After all of these years,_ Carly thought, _I finally realize that I do love Freddie. But all he wants is Sam_.

* * *

><p>Sam leaned against the stall door in the bathroom. Silent tears ran down her face. She stared at the cut on her hand. She liked the pain; it took her mind off of the real pain she experienced.<p>

"Why Freddie?" she asked herself quietly. "Why must you love Freddie? We all know he'd rather have Carly." She slid onto the floor and searched through her plaid bookbag until she found a Fat Cake. She ate it as fast as she could; food was a easy distraction from him.

_No matter what,_ she thought, _Fredward Benson will never love me. He will always want Carly, and he will torture me with the fact that I can never have him._

* * *

><p>Freddie was in the courtyard behind Ridgeway, staring at a picture on his PearPhone. It was of the graffiti Sam left on the bathroom wall, and it made him smile. Her small hand was forever on that wall, no matter how many coats of paint T-Bo would put over it. He chuckled lightly at the words 'SAINT SAMMY'. He wondered where she even got that from. But he never thought to call her Sammy. Maybe he would try that sometime.<p>

He always hung around two of the hottest girls in school. Carly was pretty and popular, which made everyone know her. But Sam was just... _hot_. He was always tormented by her, but he enjoyed every second of it. She was perfect in his eyes. He used to want Carly, but now he realized that she was just blocking him from everything he ever wanted.

_Oh, Samantha Puckett,_ he thought. _You have no idea how much I love you._


	5. Jesus of Suburbia: Dearly Beloved

Dearly beloved are you listening?  
>I can't remember a word that you were saying<br>Are we demented or am I disturbed?  
>The space that's in between insane and insecure<br>Oh, therapy, can you please fill the void?  
>Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed<br>Nobody's perfect and I stand accused  
>For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse<p>

* * *

><p>Carly and Sam jumped up and down in circles as Freddie warned them that there was only thirty seconds before the show would start. Freddie smirked at the girls' free spirited and childish acts, but that was how the show worked. They did immature and comical things, and millions of people watched them every day. It made them one of the most liked people on the internet. Freddie tried hard to not stare at Sam's chest as she jumped up and down. But it was taunting me, in a very Sam-like way. I shook it off right before the show started.<p>

"In 5, 4, 3, 2..." I motioned for the two girls to start. They stopped jumping and faced the camera.

"I'm not Carly!" Sam said.

"And I'm not Sam!" Carly said.

"But don't worry!"

"This is still iCarly!" Sam hit the button on the remote to make an applause sound effect. "Now, tonight, we are going to play a game that we like to call..." Sam hit another button on the remote;

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, what am I licking?" a voice from the remote came. The girls cheered and began jumping in a circle again.

"Come on out here, Gibby!" Sam shouted. Gibby walked out from the back room and stood in between Carly and Sam.

"Are you ready to lick the mystery item?" Carly asked Gibby.

"Yes!" Gibby exclaimed. Sam walked towards the door, and Freddie followed her with the camera. Carly began putting a blindfold on Gibby.

"Now, as a twist, Gibby will be licking..." Sam looked around, leaned in closer to the camera and whispered, "...my stomach." She giggled and walked back towards Carly and a blindfolded Gibby. Freddie's stomach churned; he didn't remember _that_ being the agreement to what he was licking. But he knew better than to protest, especially live on the air.

"You ready Gibby?" Carly asked. Gibby nodded and kneeled down. Sam lifted her shirt and began to silently giggle.

"Ready!" Gibby shouted.

"Sixty seconds on the clock," Sam said, hitting another button.

"And begin!" Carly exclaimed. Gibby began licking Sam's stomach, and Freddie watched in envy. After ten seconds, Gibby pulled away to think about what he was licking.

"Is it skin?"

"Yes!" Carly exclaimed.

"Is it Spencer?"

"Ew, no!" Sam shouted.

"Freddie?"

"Don't ever say that again!" Freddie shouted, trying not to throw up.

"Argh!" Gibby began licking Sam's stomach again. He pulled away after ten more seconds. "Please be Carly?"

"You wish," Sam answered.

"It's Sam!"

"What part of Sam?" Carly shouted.

"Uh..." Gibby went back to licking Sam.

"Hurry!" Sam cried. "Only thirty seconds left!"

"Is it your chest?"

"Gibby!" Carly, Sam and Freddie shouted.

"Is it your stomach?"

"Yes!" Sam shouted, pushing Gibby away and putting her shirt back down. She and Carly jumped around happily as balloons and confetti fell around them. Gibby stood up, took off his blindfold and wiped his tongue.

"When was the last time you showered?" he asked.

"I don't know?" Sam answered, shrugging. Gibby walked away and kept on wiping his tongue on his arm. Freddie sighed, and the rest of the show was a blur. He couldn't help but wish that it was his tongue against her stomach. Her skin. Her lips. All he wanted was her.


	6. JoS: Tales of Another Broken Home

_I lost my faith to this  
>This town that don't exist<br>So I run  
>I run away<br>To the light of masochist  
>And I leave behind<br>This hurricane of fucking lies  
>And I walked this line<br>A million and one fucking times  
>But not this time<em>

* * *

><p>"Freddie, are you alright?" Carly asked Freddie as she poured lemonade into three glasses. Freddie, who was thinking of Sam, shook his head and focused back on reality. He was sitting on a stool at the counter.<p>

"Yeah, fine, why?" Freddie responded quickly. Carly's eyes widened, and she shrugged.

"You just really seem... out of it," she said. "Are you sick or something?"

"No, I'm totally fine, Shay," he replied, trying not to act stranger than usual. Carly sighed and handed him a glass of lemonade. He smiled as he took a sip, and immediately coughed it back up into the glass.

"What's wrong with it?" Carly asked with concern.

"Did you make this?" Freddie shouted.

"Yes! Why?"

"... Nothing," Freddie answered, trying not to hurt Carly's feelings. Carly looked confused, but she took his cup and rinsed it in the sink. Sam came out into the room from the bathroom, smiling and cheery.

"Hey Carls, got anything to drink?" she asked.

"Yeah, here," Carly offered, handing Sam the third glass of lemonade. Sam nodded and took a gulp. She immediately ran to the sink and spit it out. Freddie watched in amusement as Sam rinsed her mouth out repeatedly with water.

"Was that _your_ lemonade?" Sam exclaimed, wiping her tongue on the sleeve of her sweater.

"Yes!" Carly shouted, clearly upset. "What's so wrong with it?"

"Because _you_ made it!" Carly looked offended, and Sam didn't seem to hold back anything, even if it hurt Carly's feelings. Carly turned and walked over to Freddie.

"Freddie, is my lemonade really that awful?" she asked.

"Well..." Freddie looked around and tried to think of something else to talk about. "Is that a new shirt?"

"Argh!" Carly cried, storming upstairs to her bedroom. Sam let out a low whistle and started heading for the door.

"Sam, wait!" Freddie shouted, startling Sam and himself. She turned and walked over to him.

"What, Frednerd?" she asked.

"Why did you let Gibby lick your stomach?"

"Because, I thought it would be funny," Sam answered, shrugging. "Why do you care?"

"Who says that I do?" Freddie snapped.

"You never said that you didn't," she countered. Freddie opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't have a comeback. Sam smirked and headed for the door again.

"Sam," he said, getting up from his seat and walking over to her.

"What now Benson-?" Freddie cut her off by kissing her lips. She didn't kiss him back, and her eyes were wide open. Freddie pulled away after five seconds and looked into her bewildered eyes.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Uh, nothing?" she responded.

"Meet me at the Groovy Smoothie tomorrow night at eight?"

"Sure."

"Really?"

"Mama doesn't turn down free smoothies," Sam smirked. She pulled away from Freddie's grasp and left the apartment. As soon as she did, Freddie jumped up and down, dancing in the middle of the living room. He didn't care if anyone saw; he finally was going on a date with Samantha Puckett.


	7. Holiday

_Hear the dogs howling out of key  
>To a hymn called "Faith and Misery"<br>And bleed, the company lost the war today  
>I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies<br>This is the dawning of the rest of our lives  
>On holiday<em>

* * *

><p>"Come on, Freddie!" Carly shouted through his shut bedroom door. "Who is Sam going on a date with? We know that you know!" She banged on the door with her fists, and then gave up. She sighed and turned to face Brad, the iCarly intern, and Gibby. Brad ran his fingers through his hair, and Gibby shrugged.<p>

"Well, I guess asking Freddie wasn't really a great plan either," Brad stated.

"What do we do now?" Gibby asked. Carly sighed and threw her hands up in frustration.

"Why won't my best friends tell me anything!" Carly said, feeling as if she was going to cry. Brad's face lit up.

"Gibby, stand by the door, and tell Freddie to open it," he whispered.

"Why?" Gibby asked. "We already know that he won't..."

"We're going to trick him! You ask him to open it, and I'll pretend to leave with Carly!" Brad explained excitedly. Carly smiled and slowly nodded. Gibby still looked puzzled.

"So when do I tell him?" he asked.

"Count to twenty," Carly hissed, before clearing her throat and yelling, "Brad, let me go!"

"Let's go Carly!" Brad shouted, motioning for her to follow him towards the door. She followed, trying not to break character.

"I have to find out!" she cried.

"Well, don't be putting your nose in other people's business!" Brad yelled.

"How can I do that? It's not like I took off my nose and said, 'Oh, here, go into Sam's business!'"

"Well you did, so tell it to go back onto your face, would you?"

"Who are you, my mother?"

"Who are you, my wife?"

"Gah!"

"Gah!" Brad opened the front door and slammed it as hard as he could. Gibby nodded and knocked on Freddie's bedroom door lightly.

"Freddie, it's Gibby," Gibby said loudly, winking at Brad and Carly. "Carly and Brad are definitely not in your apartment. You can open your door now." After a few seconds, they could hear the click of the door unlocking, and watched as Freddie opened it.

"Thank God," Freddie sighed. "I thought that-"

"Gibb-ay!" Gibby jumped onto Freddie and tackled him. Brad and Carly gasped, and ran to see what was going on. Gibby had Freddie pinned to the floor, and his shirt was gone. Freddie seemed to be in pain from the weight of the shirtless boy on top of him.

"Why?" Freddie asked to no one in particular.

"Who is Sam going on a date with?" Carly demanded.

"If I tell you, will you tell Gibby to _get off of me_?" Freddie nearly begged.

"Yes," Brad answered, crossing his arms.

"It's me!" Freddie shouted. "Neither of us were going to tell you, but it's me!" Brad, Carly and Gibby exchanged a look before laughing hysterically.

"That's a good one!" Brad said, wiping tears from his eyes. Gibby's uncontrollable laughter made him roll off of Freddie. Freddie stood up and brushed himself off, confused.

"Freddie, we aren't going to believe that _you're_ going on a date with _Sam_!" Carly giggled.

"Well, then you better start believing it, because it's the truth," Freddie stated bluntly. Brad and Carly stopped laughing, while Gibby struggled to contain himself.

"You're going on a date with Sam?" Carly asked weakly.

"_Nice_," Brad said, fist-bumping Freddie.

"Sorry I didn't tell you guys," Freddie said sheepishly, staring at his feet and turning red. He was even embarassed to admit to going out with Sam, even though he was the one who asked her in the first place.

"I still don't believe you," Carly said defiantly.

"Then come to the Groovy Smoothe at eight and see for yourselves," Freddie tested. Carly glared at him, and Gibby was finally able to stand up and stop laughing.

"We _will_ be there," Carly snapped.

"But wear diguises!" Freddie exclaimed. "I don't want Sam knowing that you're there! You'll ruin my chance!" Brad stiffled a laugh, and Carly hit him in the stomach.

"We have wigs and stuff in the iCarly studio," Gibby suggested.

"Sure, why not?" Brad said, clutching his stomach where Carly had hit him.

"See you tonight," was all Carly said before dragging Brad and Gibby out the door. She was determined to get to the bottom of this date, and wanted to believe that none of it was real.

"Wait!" Gibby cried. "What about my shirt?"


	8. Boulevard of Broken Dreams

_Read between the lines_

_What's fucked up when everything's alright_

_Check my vital signs_

_To know I'm still alive and I walk alone_

* * *

><p>"This is not the kind of diguises that I had in mind," Brad complained as Carly threw a silver high heel at him.<p>

"Would you be surprised if I told you that it was Gibby's idea?" she asked as she put her hair in a wig cap.

"No, not really," he answered, smirking. He pulled a blue floral skirt over his white boxers and tried not to wince at how tight it was. "Where is he anyways?"

"I wouldn't worry about that too much," Carly said, not wanting to know what Gibby was doing. She put a long auburn wig over her wig cap and straightened it out in the mirror. Brad put a short, straight blonde wig over his own brown hair, and pulled a white tank top over his torso.

"Uh, is this...?" he tried to ask, gesturing to what he was wearing. Carly turned to him and tried not to laugh at his body.

"Do you _shave your legs_?" Carly asked, giggling.

"Only this one time, I swear!" Brad cried, his face turning red. Carly rolled her eyes and turned to put on eyeshadow.

"There's one more thing that you need to put on before we go," she said.

"I am _not_ wearing fake nails!" Brad shouted at Carly, who just laughed hard.

"You don't have to wear fake nails," Carly giggled. She put away her make-up and turned to a case. She opened it and held up two giggling blobs, an evil grin on her face.

"What are those?" Brad asked, a worried look crossing his face.

"They go in your bra," Carly answered, shrugging.

"What?" Brad exclaimed.

"Just put this bra on and stuff these in it," Carly instructed, handing him the blobs she called boobs. She grabbed one of her bras out of her dresser drawer and threw it at Brad. He hesitantly took off his tank top and put on the bra. He put the blobs in the bra and put his shirt on top of it.

"Does this look right at all?" he asked, glancing at his chest.

"No," Carly answered, smirking. "The left boob is in the middle of your chest." Carly went over and tried to rearrange the blobs.

"Carly, I don't think that's right," Brad said, trying to fix what Carly did.

"Trust me, I would know better than you," Carly told him sternly. The two began to bicker and move his fake boobs around when Gibby walked into the room, wearing his Jessica Jitters costume.

"Uh, what's going on here?" Gibby shouted, causing Brad and Carly to stop and turn to him, both hands on Brad's chest. "But don't stop, it's kind of hot."

"Gibby!" Brad and Carly shouted. Carly backed away from Brad and blushed at what she had done.

"Gibby, it's me, Brad," Brad said, confused.

"Oh," Gibby muttered. "Well then this is awkward."

"Well, then, let's make this less awkward!" Carly suggested, smiling.

"By spying on our best friends' date?" Brad asked.

"Yes," Carly answered, nodding. Everyone shrugged, grabbed their own purses, and left the bedroom, ready to crash a date.


	9. Favorite Son

_A clean-cut All-American,  
>Really ain't so clean.<br>His royal auditorium,  
>Is a murder scene.<em>

_It's your favorite son._  
><em>It's your favorite son.<em>  
><em>Oh, isn't it a drag?<em>  
><em>Isn't it a drag?<em>  
><em>Isn't it a drag?<em>  
><em>It's pretty bloody sad,<em>  
><em>but isn't it a drag?<em>

_Well no one says it's fair._  
><em>Turn a teenage lush,<em>  
><em>To a millionaire.<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie sat at the same table as always in the Groovy Smoothie, waiting for Sam to come in through the doors and sit with him. He heard rumors that he would be given a giant smoothie and be forced to pay a large amount of money for it, so he brought over one hundred dollars, knowing how outrageous the prices could be here. He heard the door open and watched as three girls walked in. The one with auburn hair was wearing a pink sweater and dark skinny jeans with tall black heels. The girl on her right was very awkward looking and kept her head on top of her short blonde hair. She was wearing a blue skirt and white tank top, and was tripping over silver heels. It wasn't until he recognized 'Jessica Jitters' when he realized that they were his friends.<p>

"What the hell?" he exclaimed, his eyes widening in horror. Carly and Gibby walked up to him quickly and tried to shush him. Brad stumbled over behind them, still trying to get use to high heels.

"Are you trying to embarass us?" Carly hissed.

"I don't even have to try," Freddie chuckled. Brad glared at him as the three of them walked to a table in the back of the restaurant.

"You won't even know that we're here!" Gibby shouted. Freddie groaned and watched as Sam walked through the doors. She was wearing a black skirt, a white shirt with streaks of black, pink and orage going diagonally across it, and a gold jacket. Freddie let out a low whistle as Sam walked up to the table and sat down, letting out a frustrated groan.

"Uh, hello," Freddie greeted.

"Yeah, whatever, where's T-Bo?" Sam snapped. T-Bo walked up to them and put a large green cup in the middle of the table. It had the Groovy Smoothie symbol on it and hearts all around it.

"It's on the house!" T-Bo declared. Sam shrugged and beegan drinking through one of the straws. "That'll be thirty-six bucks," T-Bo stated, holding out his hand. Freddie rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet.

"Why thirty-six?" Freddie asked as he counted out his money. "You just said that it's free."

"That's a thirty-six dollar cup, though!" T-Bo insisted.

"How is a _cup_ worth that much?" Sam asked.

"That's Jamacian plastic!" T-Bo shouted in a Jamacian accent. Freddie rolled his eyes and handed his money to T-Bo, who took it and walked over to the cash register.

"So," Freddie said to Sam. "You look pretty hot tonight." He leaned forward and started sipping the smoothie. Sam had stopped at his compliment and leaned away from the cup, confused.

"Did... did you just give me a... compliment?" Sam asked hesitantly. Freddie looked up and nodded as he continued to sip his smoothie. "Uh... Thanks?" Sam slowly went back to drinking her smoothie. She didn't notice the three squeals coming from the back corner table, but Freddie definitely did. He rolled his eyes and smiled at his friends.

"Hey, can I ask you two a question?" T-Bo asked as he walked back up to Freddie and Sam. They stopped sipping their smoothies and turned to face him.

"What's up, T-Bo?" Freddie asked.

"What do you think about... that chick back there?" T-Bo asked, pointing to a blonde in the back of the room. Sam craned her neck to look and shrugged. Freddie nearly puked up his smoothie; the 'chick' was Brad.

"Go for it," Sam said, smiling. T-Bo nodded and went to the counter. Freddie rolled his eyes, thinking that it was just karma for his nosey friends.

"I never saw that outfit before," Freddie told Sam, trying to change the subject.

"You mean you don't recognize it?" Sam asked quietly.

"Nope, why?" Freddie asked, smirking. He would have definitely remembered an outfit like that on Sam; she rarely wore anything like it, except the week that she tried to get Pete to like her.

"I wore it the night of the Girl's-Choice Dance," Sam snapped. Freddie's eyes widened in amusement.

"You never went," he said.

"Yes, I did," Sam insisted.

"Why didn't Carly or I see you?"

"Because you were so busy slow dancing to notice," she spat at him. "I came in, but then I left! Like you would care." Sam went back to drinking the smoothie.

"I didn't know..." Freddie felt guilty, as if it was his fault for dancing with Carly in the first place. "But it was because we were both having horrible nights, and we just wanted a dance with someone who wasn't crazy."

"Yeah, whatever, Fredface," Sam muttered. Freddie rolled his eyes and sipped his smoothie.

* * *

><p>Brad, Carly and Gibby watched Freddie and Sam's every move. Carly gushed at everything they said to each other, along with Gibby. Brad just snickered and shook his head in amusement. Even after all of the times that they have fought, they were going on a date. T-Bo walked up to the trio with a stick of boxes of chocolate.<p>

"Want a box of chocolates?" T-Bo asked, smiling and staring at Brad. Carly and Gibby tried to choke down their laughter while Brad turned dark red.

"I... uh..." Brad was lost for words. What was he supposed to say to T-Bo?

"Well?" T-Bo really sucked at flirting, and that just made the entire situation funnier to Carly and Gibby.

"I like girls! Leave me alone!" Brad buried his face in his hands in embarassment. It wasn't a lie, but the girl costume made it harder for it to be less awkward. T-Bo put his hands up and walked away. Carly and Gibby burst out into laughter. Brad looked up and noticed that their commotion was attracting Sam's attention.

"Guys, shush!" he hissed, waving his hands in front of his friends' faces. It only made them laugh harder. He began freaking out as Sam squinted her eyes.

"Oh my gosh, that was awesome!" Gibby laughed. Carly accidentally let out a snort, which only made the two of them laugh harder.

"I swear, you guys..." Brad muttered before sipping his smoothie in frustration.

* * *

><p>"Do we know those chicks?" Sam asked Freddie. Freddie turned to see Carly and Gibby in hysterics, and Brad completely red. He chuckled and turned back to Sam.<p>

"Never seem them before," Freddie lied, praying that Sam wouldn't figure out who it was.

"That chubby chick is definitely familiar..." Sam wondered aloud. Freddie panicked and tried to think of something to distract her.

"Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?" he blurted. Sam's eyes widened and she became speechless. The laughter from the back corner immediately quieted down. For a minute, no one said anything, as Sam was silent. Freddie waited for an answer, praying it would be a yes.

"Want a box of chocolates?" T-Bo asked, holding the stick up for Freddie and Sam to see.

"T-Bo!" Freddie shouted. T-Bo held his hands up in defense.

"That one girl's reaction was worse," T-Bo stated, looking at Brad. Sam looked at them again, and the look on her face went from shock to pure anger.

"Gibby?" Sam exclaimed. "Carls? Brad?"

"Oh no," Carly muttered.

"You invited them here?" Sam shouted, standing up.

"It's not what you think!" Freddie cried.

"I knew I made a mistake," Sam said, her voice low and dangerous.

"I swear, it's not-!" Freddie was cut off as he felt Sam dump the large, cold smoothie on top of his head. She dropped the cup upside-down on his lap and stormed towards the door.

"By the way, Freddie, this was how I left that night, too!" Sam cried, tears running down her face. Freddie wiped the thick liquid off of his face and began panting, trying not to scream about the coldness on his head.

"Oh chizz!" Gibby exclaimed.

"T-Bo!" Freddie shouted. "I might need a few of those boxes of chocolates!" He paused and thought for a minute before adding, "And a napkin!"


	10. Are We The Waiting

_Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation  
>Heads or tails and fairytales in my mind<br>Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown  
>The rage and love, the story of my life<br>The Jesus of suburbia is a lie_

* * *

><p>Freddie stormed into Carly's apartment, still angry since he left Sam's house. He sat outside her window for ten minutes, begging for her forgiveness. When she threatened to call the cops, Freddie left, leaving behind three boxes of chocolate, two dozen roses, and a poem that he wrote. Technically, it was song lyrics, but he hadn't gotten that far yet as to actually put music to it. Carly and Gibby had to help Brad into the apartment, and they were each massaging one-another's feet, moaning in pain from the heels.<p>

"...Why?" Freddie asked them.

"Don't ever wear high heels," Brad groaned. Carly and Gibby nodded in agreement.

"I don't plan on it," Freddie answered before turning to Carly. "And this is all your fault!"

"_My_ fault?" Carly repeated.

"Yes, your fault! Because of you, I don't have Sam anymore! Because you just had to spy on out date!"

"I didn't know that she didn't want to be seen with you by us!"

"Carly!" Brad and Gibby shouted. Just then, Spencer walked into the room.

"Hey, teeners!" Spencer greeted cheerfully, sitting on the barstool by the counter. "What goes on?"

"Why wouldn't Sam want to be seen with me on a date?" Freddie asked everyone.

"Oh, no," Spencer muttered. Carly whistled and looked away. Brad and Gibby focused on massaging feet. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine!" Carly caved. She stood up and walked over to Freddie. "Sam told me that she was embarassed to go on a date with you."

"Why would she be embarassed?" Freddie asked, laughing.

"Because you're a total nerd, no offense."

"So?"

"Dude, she's totally hot and badass!" Brad blurted. Freddie and Carly glared at him, and Brad just shrugged. "Just telling it how it is, man."

"I don't believe you guys," Freddie chuckled. "You honestly think that I would believe you?"

"Well, she is the toughest girl at Ridgeway," Spencer said.

"And a total babe," Gibby added.

"Gibby!" Freddie snapped. "You guys must be insane!"

"Well, then why else do you think that she dumped a Blueberry Blitz on your head and leave when she saw that we were there?" Carly asked him in a harsh tone. "She loves Blueberry Blitzes! It's not her, it's you!" Freddie looked hurt, and Carly softened her look. "I'm sorry, Freddie, I didn't mean it."

"No, you're right, Carly," Freddie said, trying not to cry. "If I want to be with Sam, then I need to change."

"How are you going to manage to do that?" Spencer asked.

"You'll see," Freddie said, smirking as he left the apartment. Everyone else was confused as to what 'change' meant for him.

"So, guys," Gibby said. "You totally that Gibby is a total hottie, right?"

"Gibby!"


	11. St Jimmy

_My name is St. Jimmy I'm a son of a gun  
>I'm the one that's from the way outside<br>I'm a teenage assassin executing some fun  
>In the cult of the life of crime.<em>

I really hate to say it but I told you so  
>So shut your mouth before I shoot you down ol' boy<br>Welcome to the club and give me some blood  
>And the resident leader at the lost and found<p>

It's comedy and tragedy  
>It's St. Jimmy<br>And that's my nameeeeeee... and don't wear it out!

_(__**QUICK A/N- IN THE MUSICAL FOR THIS, ST. JIMMY IS JOHNNY'S ALTERNATE PERSONALITY, AND THEY SWITCH ON/OFF AT RANDOM TIMES.**__)_

* * *

><p>Freddie walked down the halls of Ridgeway, smirking at how everyone's eyes followed him. Yesterday, he was Freddie Benson, the AV club dork who did nothing but watch Galaxy Wars and took pottery classes with his mother. Yesterday, he would have worn a plaid button-down shirt and jeans with a tight belt. Yesterday, he would be punched by a jock or Sam, and then flirt nonstop with Carly. Yesterday, he would have ran for the bus or get a ride from his mother, and be ten minutes early to homeroom with his homework complete.<p>

Yesterday, Freddie Benson discovered someone else.

Today, he walked down the halls with no books or finished assignments. Today, he laughed at the jocks' attempts to hurt him. Today, he wasn't flirting with Carly, or even near her. Today, he strolled in through the front doors after third period, and didn't show up to a class until fifth. Today, he wore a black wife beater and skinny jeans with black sneakers. Today, no one could see the dorky little Freddie Benson anymore.

Today, they met Fred.

Fred walked over to Carly's locker after ninth period and leaned against the wall. She didn't notice Fred, but rather focused on getting the textbooks that she needed before she went home. It wasn't until she shut her locker that she saw Fred standing there.

"Oh, hey Freddie," she said, smiling. "Where have you been?" She looked him up and down, her eyes wide. "And what are you wearing?"

"Have you seen Sam?" Fred asked, looking around Carly for the blonde.

"No, but you need to tell me why..." Carly slowly remembered everything from last night. "Oh, my gosh! This is your way of getting Sam, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, Carly," Fred answered, still looking around for Sam.

"Well... I..." Carly was lost for words. She saw Brad walking by, and he never noticed that Fred was near her. "Brad! Come over here!" Brad turned and saw Carly, smiling and waving. He walked over to her, standing next to Freddie.

"Hey, Carly," he greeted. "What's up?"

"That," she answered, glaring at Fred. Brad looked over and jumped back.

"Whoa, dude!" Brad exclaimed. "What happened to you, Freddie?"

"Don't call me that," Fred answered coolly. "Freddie is a nub's name."

"But you are a nub!" Carly insisted. She leaned towards him and looked at his eyes carefully. "Is that... _eyeliner_?"

"So?" Fred asked, shrugging. "Where's Sam?"

"She's in detention," Brad told him. He turned to Carly. "Is this an attempt for him to get her-?"

"Yes," Carly said, shaking her head. "Freddie-"

"_Fred_!" Fred corrected.

"Fine then! _Fred_, this is not what we meant by what we said last night! You look ridiculous!"

"Sam wants a bad boy, not a nub," Fred stated. "Now she's got one. So, if you excuse me, I need to go find a certain blonde in detention." He pushed past Brad and headed up the stairs for the detention room. Brad and Carly watched him go, shaking their heads in disappointment.

"This will get worse before it gets better," Carly sighed.

"Dude, with Freddie like this, it won't," Brad told her, disappointed.

"How long do you give it?"

"Until one of them snaps."


	12. Give Me Novacaine

_Drain the pressure from the swelling,_  
><em>This sensations overwhelming,<em>  
><em>Give me a long kiss goodnight<em>  
><em>and everything will be alright<em>  
><em>Tell me that I won't feel a thing<em>  
><em>So give me Novacaine<em>

_Out of body and out of mind_  
><em>Kiss the demons out of my dreams<em>  
><em>I get the funny feeling, that's alright<em>  
><em>Jimmy says it's better than air,<em>  
><em>I'll tell you why<em>

* * *

><p>Sam walked to her locker, groaning about how she got detention. She found out that it wasn't polite to throw eggs at teachers, and how much they don't appreciate it. She went into her locker and took out a Low-Fat FatCake and stuffed her face with it. She could live off of FatCakes, along with meat. She crumbled the wrapper and threw it into her locker and shut it. She turned to see Freddie, wearing a wife beater, skinny jeans, and... eyeliner?<p>

"Who are you and what have you done to Freddie?" she asked, laughing.

"Who is Freddie? My name is Fred, and I am going to take you out." Sam arched her eyebrows.

"Okay, maybe that eyeliner got to your brain, but why would I go out with you? Especially after last night."

"Because, last night, Freddie the nub was your date," Fred stated, leaning against the lockers. "Freddie would have been too scared and embarassed to even talk to you after he had a smoothie dumped on his head. And he wouldn't have left three boxes of chocolate at your doorstep and go home crying like a wimp."

"Then what would _Fred_ do?" Sam tested, taking a small step closer and smiling.

"Fred would do this," Fred said, taking Sam into his arms and kissing her. After ten seconds, they pulled away.

"Well, I think I like Fred more than Freddie," Sam said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"Well, then let Fred take you to the park so we can throw things at annoying people," Fred suggested, putting his arms around her waist.

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Sure, why not-?"

"Let's go!" Sam shouted, taking his arm and dragging him behind her out of the school. Fred laughed and followed, while Freddie began freaking out inside. He never did anything wrong, but now he was going to throw things at people? If that was what Sam wanted, that's what Sam would get.

"What exactly do you want to throw at people?" Fred asked, trying to contain Freddie inside of him.

"I got a stash of golf balls and clubs in the park," Sam answered.

"What?"

"Okay then, so don't come, nub." Sam let go of his hand and kept on running. Fred stood there for a minute, letting Freddie take over him. He was scared to chase after Sam.

"Hey, Freddie." Fred turned to see Rip-Off Rodney behind him, smirking.

"What do you want, Rodney?" Fred snapped.

"I got cops trailing, so take this," Rodney hissed, slipping a small bag with green stuff in it into Fred's hand. Rodney ran away, and Fred examined the bag in his hand. _Marijuana_.

_"Don't do it, this isn't right! It's drugs!"_ Freddie shouted inside of Fred. Fred stared at the bag, and then opened it.

"This is what Sam wants," Fred whispered to himself, "So this is what she'll get."


	13. Last Of The American Girls

_She puts her makeup on  
>Like graffiti on the walls of the heartland<br>She's got her little book of conspiracies right in her hand  
>She is a paranoid endangered species headed into extinction<br>She is one of a kind  
>She's the last of the American Girls<em>

_She wears her overcoat for the coming of the nuclear winter  
>She is riding her bike like a fugitive of critical mass<br>She's on a hunger strike for the ones who won't make it for dinner  
>She makes enough to survive for a holiday of working class<br>She's a runaway of the establishment incorporated  
>She won't cooperate<br>She's the last of the American Girls_

* * *

><p>Sam pressed the elevator button over and over again as she jumped up and down. She had just gotten back to Bushwell, and rather than go home, she wanted to go see Carly, to tell her about the amazing time she had with Freddie. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something different about this Freddie, and she loved it. The elevator finally reached the lobby and as soon as the doors opened, Sam pressed the button for Carly's floor as jumping again. The doors slid shut, and the elevator jolted as it climbed up the building. The doors opened on the eighth floor, and Sam ran over to door 8-C, pounding on it with her fists.<p>

"Carly!" she shouted. "Come open the door!" She stopped banging on the door when Carly opened it.

"Sam!" Carly cried. "Where have you been?"

"I just had the most wonderful time with Freddie!" Sam gushed, waltzing into the apartment. She stopped when she noticed Gibby sitting on a barstool and Brad on the couch. "Since when do they hang out here?" she asked.

"Since I started being the intern," Brad answered.

"What else can a Gibby do?" Gibby stated, laughing and shaking his head. Sam shrugged and turned to face Carly.

"Isn't Freddie the best?" she asked in a dreamy tone. "We shot golfballs at the track team as they ran past us! He even hit some of them! Isn't he the best?"

"Yes, I'm sure that hitting the track team with golfballs is really romantic," Carly teased. She then became more serious. "Sam, did you notice anything different about him?"

"He got really cool since last night," Sam stated, smiling.

"How about the fact that he was wearing eyeliner," Gibby suggested to Sam.

"And how he skipped half of school," Brad added.

"Or how he will only answer to Fred," Carly pointed out.

"So?" Sam asked defensively. "Those are little things, you guys. He's still the same nub that we all know and torture."

"This is how it all starts," Carly said. "He'll start getting worse, and then no one will be able to recognize him anymore! Then what will you do? Elope?"

"Hey!" Sam snapped. "We didn't talk about that yet."

"Sam-"

"I think that you're just jealous." Carly put her hand to her chest and gasped.

"You think that I like Freddie?" she scoffed.

"I read it in your diary," Sam said, shrugging. Carly scowled at her best friend.

"Maybe I do, but I like Freddie, not Fred!" she said loudly. "Why don't you get that he's trying to change himself for you, for the worse?"

"Oh, so I can't have good people in my life?" Sam tested.

"You know what!" Brad shouted. "Both of you shut up. Freddie has changed, yes. But don't go girl-crazy over it!" The two girls exchanged a look before sighing.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Carly said. "I didn't mean to explode on you."

"Sorry for reading you diary," Sam mumbled. "Can I stay here tonight?"

"Sure," Carly answered. Just then, Spencer came into the apartment, a puzzled look on his face.

"Hey, teeners," Spencer greeted.

"Hey, what's up, Spencer?" Gibby greeted back.

"Well, can someone explain to me why Freddie is wearing _eyeliner_?" Spencer asked. The four teens exchanged looks.

"Well," Carly said, "It's kind of a weird story..."


	14. She's A Rebel

_She's a rebel  
>She's a saint<br>She's salt of the earth  
>And she's dangerous<em>

_She's a rebel_  
><em>Vigilante<em>  
><em>Missing link on the brink<em>  
><em>Of destruction<em>

_She's a rebel, She's a rebel, She's a rebel, And she's dangerous_

* * *

><p>Brad, Carly, Gibby, and Sam were lying around Carly's room without uttering a word to each other. The four decided Carly had just taken a shower, and was using her new desk blowdrier to dry her hair. Sam was lying on Carly's bed, staring at the gummy bear chandelier and thinking about her afternoon with Freddie. Gibby was wearing a boat cap and playing with the remote control boats in Carly's coffee table. Brad was writing down a list of things he needed to do before the next webshow in a small notebook. Spencer had gone to bed as soon as everyone had explained what was happening with Freddie, or 'Fred'.<p>

"Sam, can we talk about this?" Carly asked after she turned off her blowdrier.

"How about not?" Sam answered. She didn't believe anything anyone said about Freddie changing for the worst. She liked the new Freddie, no matter how much everyone didn't accept him.

"Sam," Brad said without looking up from his notebook. "Listen to her. You need to stop being so stubborn about this."

"I am _not_ stubborn!" Sam insisted. She crossed her arms and jutted out her bottom lip.

"Thank you for proving my point," Brad smirked as he put his notebook down.

"I know that you like Freddie and all-" Carly began.

"_Fred_," Sam interrupted coolly. "His name is Fred."

"There's one thing!" Carly snapped. "You used to call him Fredweird and Frednub and Fredface, not Fred!"

"Remember hitting him with the buttersock?" Gibby asked, praying to make her see what she was doing wrong. He knew that if she didn't hurt Freddie that he was next in line, and he didn't want to get hurt.

"I don't use the buttersock anymore," Sam said bitterly. Everyone gasped at that. Sam offered the buttersock for many things, and hurting people was one of them.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with Sam?" Carly asked.

"Sam hasn't changed," Brad stated. "Fred has, and he's fooled her completely."

"Shut up!" Sam cried, standing on the floor. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" She stomped her foot and marched out of the door, slamming it shut behind her.

"What a rebel," Gibby muttered.

"She's going to get really hurt," Brad sighed.

"What do you mean?" Carly asked. "If anyone is going to get hurt, it's going to be Freddie."

"Not exactly." Brad reached into his overnight bag until he pulled out a CD case.

"A CD?" Carly asked. "Gibby isn't even that random." Gibby nodded and shrugged. Brad rolled his eyes.

"It's a movie," he explained. "Well, more of a really modern musical."

"Really?" Carly asked. Musicals were something that grabbed her attention, since she loved the random outbursts of singing and dancing.

"What's it called?" Gibby asked, putting down the remote for the boat he was playing with.

"It's basically what's going on with Sam and Freddie," Brad stated, holding out the disc towards his friends. "It's called _American Idiot_."

_**(A/N- 'American Idiot' will actually become a movie in 2013. Billie Joe Armstrong is going to be St. Jimmy!)**_


	15. Last Night On Earth

_I text a postcard sent to you  
>Did it go through?<br>Sending all my love to you  
>You are the moonlight of my life every night<br>Giving all my love to you  
>My beating heart belongs to you<br>I walked for miles 'til I found you  
>I'm here to honor you<br>If I lose everything in the fire  
>I'm sending all my love to you<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie stared at himself in the mirror, taking in the new look of his. He was wearing a thick amount of eyeliner, darker clothes, and had even bought himself 420 bracelets. 'Fred' loved the new look that he had, thinking that it made Sam want him now more than ever. Freddie wanted to burn everything he was wearing and to smack his head with an algebra book until he passed out.<p>

"_Who the hell are you?_" Fred snapped.

"I'm not you!" Freddie replied. "I'm a good person!"

"_I'm Fredweird Benson,_" Fred teased. "_I get straight A's and I spend my free time studying, playing with my PearPad, and playing guitar!_"

"Stop it!" Freddie growled. "At least I'm not you!"

"_Says the boy talking to his reflection in the mirror,_" Fred countered. Freddie threw his arms into the air and groaned. "_I know what will take the edge right off of you._"

"What? Are you going to throw an ice pack at my head?" Freddie asked.

"_Check your pocket._" Freddie rolled his eyes and reached into his front jean pocket. He pulled out a small bag with tiny green leaves.

"I can't..." he murmured, turning the bag over in his hands.

"_It's what Sam wants,_" Fred said.

"Yeah, it is." Freddie grinned, thinking how much Sam would want him even more now. He walked over to his PearPad and started searching on Zaplook.

"_Dude!_" Fred exclaimed. "_Seriously?_"

"Well, how else am I going to know how to use this stuff?" Freddie asked.

* * *

><p>Freddie had gone up with the smoke, floating up into the Seattle air. Fred sat on the fire escape, smoking the last of his joint. He threw it off of the building and watched it fall to the streets below. He laughed as it fell, the smoke starting to go to his head.<p>

"Fred?" He looked up to see Sam climbing down the fire escape. She jumped down from above right next to him.

"Hey there, Sammy Puckett," Fred greeted, laughing.

"Well, hello there, Fred Benson," Sam said, smiling.

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, Carly was being annoying, so I decided to come over here while they watch a musical."

"They?"

"Brad and Gibby are there, too."

"Since when do they hang out with us?"

"Since now, I guess." Sam bit her lip and stared at the city nervously. Fred could feel Freddie starting to gain control, and tried to contain his panick. In order to calm himself down, Fred leaned forward and kissed Sam. Sam's eyes widened in surprise, but they slowly closed as she began kissing Fred back. They sat there kissing for several moments before they pulled away, shocked.

"Wow," Fred breathed.

"What was that all about?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Fred admitted. "Just felt like it."

"Oh." Sam looked inside at his apartment and grinned. "Want to continue inside?"

"Please!" Freddie said, immediately taking over Fred. Sam giggled and climbed through the apartment window. Freddie stayed outside, letting Fred take over him again.

"Prepare yourself, Fredward Benson," Fred told himself. "You're about to get really lucky." He grinned as he climbed through the window after Sam.


	16. Too Much Too Soon

_Too much too soon _

_Too little and now your coming unglued _

_Too much too soon _

_Too late and now it sucks to be you _

_Too much too soon _

_Too little and now your coming unglued _

_Too much too soon _

_Too late and now it sucks to be you too_

* * *

><p>Carly dabbed her eyes with a tissue, feeling it become soaked with her tears as <em>American Idiot<em> ended. Johnny had finally realized that he was nothing without Whatsername, and after the song, Carly could feel a roller coaster of emotions kicking in. Brad was emotionless, since he had already seen the movie before. Gibby, however, was worse than Carly. He had been bawling his eyes out since '_Letterbomb_', and hadn't recovered since. As the credits rolled across the screen, he started howling.

"He still wants Whatsername!" Gibby wailed. "And St. Jimmy _is dead_!" Brad rolled his eyes and tossed a tissue box at Gibby.

"Just drink your corn juice, Gibby," Brad said. He turned to Carly, who was able to stop herself from crying. "Do you see what's going on here?"

"Are you saying that Sam will have Freddie's baby and then leave him for a rockstar?" Carly asked.

"Not Will and Heather's story," Brad laughed.

"So Freddie is going into the army and Sam is his Extraordinary Girl?" Carly guessed.

"Come on!" Gibby cried. "Think about Johnny, St. Jimmy, and Whatsername!" Carly though about it, and then finally understood what was going on.

"Well, we have to stop them!" Carly exclaimed. "They're both going to get hurt by this!"

"Where is Sam anyways?" Gibby asked.

"Didn't she leave two hours ago to see...?" Brad asked. Everyone exchanged worried glances.

"Spencer!" they cried. They could hear loud footsteps and looked as Spencer appeared in the doorway.

"What's wrong?" he shouted. "Is someone dead?"

"No," Carly answered.

"Have you seen Sam?" Brad asked.

"Yeah, she went to visit Freddie a couple of hours ago," Spencer answered. "Why?"

"Oh, no!" Carly cried.

"If this is like that movie, then they're probably already..." Brad didn't finish his sentence. Everyone made a face at what he was referring to, except for Gibby, who didn't understand.

"I don't get it," he said.

"They're _having sex_!" Carly shouted.

"Oh, my gosh!" Gibby cried. He screamed and ran past Spencer and down the hall.

"This is bad," Carly said. "This is really, really bad!"


	17. Before The Lobotomy

_Well it's enough to make you sick  
>To cast a stone and throw a brick<br>When the sky is falling down  
>It burned your dreams into the ground<em>

_Christian's lesson_  
><em>Is what he's been sold<em>  
><em>We are normal and self-controlled<em>  
><em>Remember to learn to forget<em>  
><em>Whiskey shots and cheap cigarettes<em>

_Well I'm not stoned, I'm just fucked up_  
><em>I got so high, I can't stand up<em>  
><em>I'm not cursed cause I've been blessed<em>  
><em>I'm not in love cause I'm a mess<em>

_Like refugees_  
><em>We're lost like refugees<em>  
><em>Like refugees<em>  
><em>We're lost like refugees<em>  
><em>The brutality of reality<em>  
><em>Is the freedom that keeps me from<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie woke up, his head clearer than it had been than last night. He tried hard to remember what had happened last night, but he drew a blank. He rolled over and felt a figure next to him. He looked to see Sam, fast asleep, and... <em>naked<em>? Freddie nearly jumped off of his bed before he realized that he was also wearing no clothes. What had happened last night?

"_Calm down, Frederly_," Fred assured him. "_You just did Sam Puckett!_"

"I did _what_?" Freddie choked. "Why? How could this happen?"

"_Dude, did you just hear me?_" Fred asked. "_You just fucked _Sam Puckett._ Who cares? You're a god!_"

"I has high..." Freddie murmured. Sam began stirring, and Freddie froze as she rolled onto her stomach and turned her head to face him.

"Well, good morning," Sam greeted.

"Hello?" Freddie said.

"Is that all you have to say after last night?" Sam teased. She sat up and stretched her arms out. Freddie struggled to keep eye contact with Sam, especially since she was completely exposed to him.

"I... uh..." Freddie was glad that he was under the covers, because he could feel himself become stiff.

"Can I use your shower?" Sam asked, not noticing how tense Freddie had become.

"Sure," Freddie managed to say. Sam smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek. She rolled off of the bed and headed towards Freddie's bathroom. His eyes stayed on her ass as she walked. Once the door was shut, Freddie rushed to get himself dressed. He threw on a tank top, a plaid button-down shirt and jeans. He slipped on brown mocasins and ran out of his bedroom. He flung open his apartment door to find Brad, who was almost about to knock on it.

"Hey, man," Brad greeted. "Have you seen Sam?"

"She's in my shower," Freddie answered. Brad started laughing.

"I knew you two did it!" he exclaimed. "Gibby owes me five dollars!"

"This isn't funny!" Freddie exclaimed. "I don't remember a single thing either!"

"Dude, your life totally sucks then."

"But she does! And I think I was too high to even know what happened, and..."

"Freddie," Brad cut him off. "You're rambling. And since when do you get high?"

"Since Fred took over," Freddie said. Brad looked down and shook his head.

"Alright then, St. Jimmy, I'll see you later," Brad said. "Just don't fuck up, okay?" Brad walkedd down the hall and towards the elevator, leaving behind a very confused Freddie.

"Wait, Brad!" Freddie called after him. "Who is St. Jimmy?"


	18. Extraordinary Girl

_She's an Extraordinary girl  
>In an ordinary world<br>And she cant seem to get away_

_He lacks the courage in his mind_  
><em>Like a child left behind<em>  
><em>Like a pet left in the rain<em>

_She's all alone again_  
><em>Wiping the tears from her eyes<em>  
><em>Some days he feels like dying<em>  
><em>She gets so sick of crying<em>

* * *

><p>"Okay," Carly said, nodding slowly at Sam. Sam had just told her about what had happened after she left, and everyone was in disbelief.<p>

"I told you guys!" Brad exclaimed. Gibby covered his ears with his hands and ran up the staircase. Spencer ran into his room, leaving Brad, Carly and Sam alone on the futon in the living room.

"Totally exactly what happened," Sam bragged, grinning from ear to ear.

"So, how big?" Carly asked.

"Dude!" Brad shouted. "Why?"

"I want to know!" Carly snapped. Sam sighed and motioned for Carly to lean towards her. Carly leaned close, and Sam whispered into her ear. Carly leaned back, obviously impressed.

"I swear on my life," Sam said.

"No way!" Carly exclaimed. "Like, are you sure?"

"I've eaten salami sticks shorter than that," Sam told her.

"Oh, gross!" Brad shouted. He stood up and moved to the counter.

"So, did it hurt?" Carly asked.

"Only for a little bit, but nothing too bad," Sam explained. "Trust me, kiddo, when it happens to you, you'll understand."

"Then why was Freddie freaking out this morning?" Brad asked.

"What do you mean?" Sam laughed.

"He was having a mental breakdown," Brad said. "He said that he was too high to remember a thing, and that he woke up to you naked and in his shower."

"Totally."

"Wait," Carly said, confused. "Since when does Freddie smoke marijuana?"

"Apparently, since now," Brad answered. "And that kid should not be near drugs. The more drugs he takes, the more eyeliner he wears!" Carly stiffled a laugh, while Sam gave him a puzzled look.

"He wasn't high," Sam stated. "He was totally clear in the head."

"If he was clear in the head, he would have been to scared to show you himself," Carly told her.

"And definitely would have freaked out when he saw your jugs," Brad added, ignoring the glares he recieved from the two girls.

"Freddie isn't a stupid druggie," Sam insisted. "We know him better than that."

"No, _we_ know him better," Brad told her. "And he was definitely doing something other than you last night."

"So what, a guy needs to be high in order to be with me?" Sam snapped. "Fine then! I guess nothing is good enough for me!" Sam stood up and marched up the steps. Brad and Carly sighed in disappointment.

"That went well," Carly said.

"This is definitely getting worse before it's going to show any signs of getting better," Brad sighed. "You have anything to drink?"

"Sure," Carly answered. She walked into the kitchen and took out two glasses. She took a pitcher from the fridge and poured the liquid into the cups. She handed one to Brad, and he smiled. He took one sip and immediately spit it back out.

"What the hell is this?" he shouted.

"My special lemonade," Carly told him.

"Have you considered _not_ making this anymore?" he asked, running over to the sink and rinsing out his mouth with tap water repeatedly.

"Everyone is a critic," Carly sighed. She took a sip of her lemonade before spiting it out herself. "Now I'm depressed," she stated bluntly.


	19. Before The Lobotomy Reprise

_Dreaming, I was only dreaming  
>Of another place and time<br>Where my family's from_

_Singing, I can hear them singing_  
><em>When the rain had washed away all these scattered dreams<em>

_Dying, everyone's reminded_  
><em>Hearts are washed in misery<em>  
><em>Drenched in gasoline<em>

_Laughter, there's no more laughter_  
><em>Songs of yesterday<em>  
><em>Now live in the underground<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie stared in the mirror. He had just taken a shower, trying to cleanse the feeling of Sam off of him. He couldn't believe that he had deflowered his best friend, although he sure couldn't remember a single thing about it. Or was it her that had deflowered him? Was there a condom involved in any of this? How was she so nonchalant and he was freaking out, when he thought it should be the other way around? How could he ever face her again? Or Carly? Or Brad? Gibby and Spencer were a possibility, since things like this didn't make them such wusses, as far as he was concerned.<p>

Freddie sighed and stared at his body. He had grown some muscles recently, and he wasn't the pale, skinny kid that he used to be. All he wore was boxers, scared that if Sam walked in on him with any less on him, that she would do something that he would definitely remember. The mental image of her bare chest excited Freddie, and thankfully, there were sheets that hid how excited he was from Sam. At least he wasn't short enough that picking on him was easy for her, since she was barely over five feet tall. He had definitely changed.

"_What'cha lookin' at, nub?_" Fred barked.

"Just myself," Freddie answered calmly.

"_Oh,_" Fred said, frowning. "_Well, what the hell do'yah want?_"

"I want to know what happened last night with Sam and me!" Freddie exclaimed.

"_Oh yeah!_" Fred thrust his fist into the air triumphantly. "_I showed her a few tricks that got her screamin' if you know what I mean. Something that you probably wouldn't know about._"

"In English, please!" was all Freddie had to say.

"_God, you're such a nub!_" Fred complained. "_I screwed her last night, and she really liked it! Anything else you need me to translate from Cool-to-Nub for you?_"

"Oh, my gosh!" Freddie exclaimed, putting his hands to his head. "I saw her... naked!"

"_And she saw you. And now you know each other on the inside, too,_" Fred teased.

"How can't I remember?" Freddie asked. "And how could I be that cool that I didn't have a freak attack like this morning?"

"_Remember the green that Rip-Off gave you?_" Fred asked, motioning to the desk. Freddie turned and stared at the tiny bag.

"So?"

"_That's what Sam likes. She likes you when you're blazing. She likes _me_, not you, Freddork. Let a real man deal with the ladies, not a nub,_" Fred said. Freddie kept on staring at the bag, trying to figure out what to do. Did he need drugs to have Sam, or any girl for that matter? He glided across the room and picked up the bag, turning it in his hands.

"This is for Sam," he told himself. "This is for Sam." He repeated that over and over again as he turned the bag in his hands still. "This is for Sam." He closed his fist around the bag and looked into the mirror at his reflection.

"This is for Sam."


	20. Know Your Enemy

_Violence is an energy_

_Against the enemy_

_Well violence is an energy, right._

_Bringing on the fury_

_The choir infantry_

_Revolt against the honor to obey (Ohaooh)_

_Overthrow the effigy_

_The vast majority_

_We're burning down the foreman of control (Ohaooh)_

_Silence is the enemy_

_Against your urgency_

_So rally up the demons of your soul (Ohaooh)_

_Do you know the enemy_

_Do you know your enemy well gotta know the enemy, (Ohaooh)_

* * *

><p>"...And we are clear!" Freddie exclaimed as he stopped the live broadcasting of yet another iCarly webisode. The two girls cheered and high-fived each other. Brad gave everyone a thumbs-up as he worked on some of the editing. Gibby came from backstage in a bathrobe and jeans; this week, Sam forced him to play a mermaid. He didn't refuse, but he didn't like sitting in a bathtub filled with ice cubes and salt water.<p>

"My butt is _still_ freezing!" Gibby complained. Sam rolled her eyes and Carly laughed.

"Well, you were from Alaska!" Sam exclaimed. "Alaskan mermaids are used to swimming in extremely cold water!"

"Explain that to my numb toes!" Gibby threw his hands into the air in frustration and sat down on the hood on the car prop. Spencer walked through the studio door and locked it from the inside.

"What are you doing, Spencer?" Sam asked, confused.

"I locked all of the doors, Carly," Spencer said to his sister, ignoring Sam's question. Freddie and Sam looked at everyone else, scared and confused, but everyone else seemed to be calm.

"What's going on here?" Freddie asked.

"We need to talk, Freddie," Brad answered, moving the cart to the corner of the room. He wanted anything throwable to be out of Sam's reach, just in case.

"What about?" Freddie asked.

"Your drug problem!" Carly blurted. Freddie's eyes widened, and Sam growled at Carly.

"You guys are still on this?" Sam shouted. "He's not a druggie! Where would he get drugs from?"

"Who do you think? Rip-Off Rodney!" Gibby exclaimed.

"Y-you guys are ridiculous!" Freddie stammered, trying to keep his cool. _Where is Fred at a time like this?_ he thought, praying in his mind that his sly alter-ego would magically appear.

"Oh, really?" Spencer questioned, stepping closer towards the teenager. Freddie backed away, only to run into Brad. Carly and Gibby stepped closer, trapping Freddie and Sam in a small circle.

"Check his pockets, Sam," Brad ordered, his eyes not leaving Freddie.

"What? Why?" Sam asked.

"Just do it," Gibby said. Sam sighed and stuck her hands into the two front pockets on Freddie's khakis. She dug around until she pulled out a small bag of green stuff.

"What's this?" she asked Freddie shakily. Freddie automatically flew out the window and Fred appeared.

"My mother has cancer," Fred explained. "And this is her _medicinal marijuana_. I picked it up for her, but she didn't want you guys to find out, so I threw out the pharmacy bag! I didn't have time to stop home, so I kept it in my pocket." Sam looked really sad, while everyone else looked guilty.

"How dare you!" Sam cried. "Blame a poor boy for being a pothead when his mother is terminally ill! Come on, Fred!" Sam grabbed his wrist and stole the keys from Spencer. Brad, Carly, Gibby and Spencer watched the two leave in silence before sharing the same look.

"You don't really believe him, right?" Brad asked.

"Nope," the Shay siblings answered.

"Wait, he was _lying_?" Gibby asked, confused. The others groaned.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," Carly muttered.

"If you think this is bad for us," Spencer said, "Then wait until Sam realizes what's going on."

* * *

><p><em><strong>(QUICK AN: I know that When It's Time is next, but I'm saving it for later for a good reason, I promise.)**_


	21. 21 Guns

_When you're at the end of the road  
>And you lost all sense of control<br>And your thoughts have taken their toll  
>When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul<br>Your faith walks on broken glass and the hangover doesn't pass  
>Nothing's ever built to last, you're in ruins<em>

_One, 21 Guns_  
><em>Lay down your arms<em>  
><em>Give up the fight<em>  
><em>One, 21 Guns<em>  
><em>Throw up your arms into the sky<em>  
><em>You and I ...<em>

_Did you try to live on your own?_  
><em>When you burned down the house and home?<em>  
><em>Did you stand too close to the fire?<em>  
><em>Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone<em>  
><em>When it's time to live and let die<em>  
><em>And you can't get another try<em>  
><em>Something inside this heart has died,you're in ruins<em>

* * *

><p>"Can you believe this?" Sam cried as she and Freddie walked downstairs. "They think that you're a druggie? That's some bullshit!"<p>

"Tell me about it," Fred said. "What kind of friends are they?"

"The cold and judgemental kind, apparently!" Sam growled before punching the elevator door. There was no mark on her fist, but instead a small dent on the metal doors.

"Easy there, Texas," Fred teased.

"I need some ham," Sam muttered, heading straight for the refrigerator. She searched for ham feverously through the crowded coolness of the fridge. Fred watched her, his eyes not leaving her hips. When she found her precious ham, she spun around, and Fred moved his eyes to hers.

"You know, you look beautiful when you're angry," Fred said in a seductive tone. He walked up to her and put his hands on her waist.

"Not while I'm eating," Sam said as she shoved a fistful of meat into her mouth.

"Maybe this will change your mind." Fred started kissing Sam, who tried to resist him. Instead, she swallowed all of her food and began kissing Freddie back. They let their tongues explore each other's mouthes, only to be interrupted moments later by the high-pitched scream from Carly.

"Oh, my god!" she shrieked. Fred and Sam immediately pulled apart.

"I should go check on my mom," Fred mumbled. He turned to Sam. "See you later, sexy mama."

"I'll be waiting," Sam responded, smiling and winking. Fred smirked and turned to face Carly.

"You're such a bitch sometimes," he growled as he walked past her. The two girls watched as Fred left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

"Carly, I-" Sam began.

"Spencer!" Carly shouted. After a second, footsteps were heard coming downstairs. Spencer ran towards his sister, Brad and Gibby right behind him.

"You okay, kiddo?" he asked, examining Carly.

"No!" she cried. "I saw Freddie and Sam basically chewing on each other's tongues!" Spencer had a horrified look on his face, while Brad and Gibby shook their heads.

"Damn it, he beat me to her," Brad mumbled. Everyone gave him a confused look. "What?" he cried. "She's super hot!" He sat down on the futon and rolled his eyes.

"I don't need this," Sam said, storming past her friends and heading for the front door.

"Sam, wait!" Carly cried.

"Don't call me until you pull your head out of your butt, Shay," Sam snapped. She left the apartment, leaving the rest in utter shock.

"Well," Gibby said. "This is just awkward now. How does Freddie get Sam?"

"_Gibby!_"

* * *

><p><em><strong>(Another small AN: I just realized that Chapter 21 is "21 Guns"! *mind blown*)**_


	22. Letterbomb

_Where have all the riots gone  
>As the city's motto gets pulverized?<br>What's in love is now in debt  
>On your birth certificate<br>So strike the fucking match to light this fuse!_

_The town bishop is an extortionist  
>And he don't even know that you exist<br>Standing still when it's do or die  
>You better run for your fucking life<em>

_It's not over 'till you're underground  
>It's not over before it's too late<br>This city's burnin'  
>It's not my burden<br>It's not over before it's too late_

_There's nothing left to analyze_

_Where will all the martyrs go when the virus cures itself?  
>And where will we all go when it's too late?<em>

_And don't look back_

_You're not the Jesus of Suburbia  
>The St. Jimmy is a figment of<br>Your father's rage and your mother's love  
>Made me the idiot America<em>

* * *

><p>Brad and Sam stood outside the Bensons' apartment late in the afternoon the next day. It was Saturday, and Sam was still mad at everyone for what had happened the night before between them and Freddie. Brad had apologized, only for the sake of not having to be beaten during the next week, or possibly jeopardizing iCarly for all of them. Sam had forgiven him, and made him help pick flowers for the supposedly ill Mrs. Benson. She knew what it was like to have family who had cancer- her mother lost three boyfriends to cancer- and wanted to help the poor woman through this hardship.<p>

"Sam, are you sure about this?" Brad asked carefully. "Freddie said that she didn't want anyone to know about her cancer. And didn't Carly say that last time she had brought flowers over that she bleached them and pounded them with a mallet?" Brad didn't want to upset Sam, but he knew that with the way Freddie was acting lately, it was going to be inevitable. Sooner or later, she would discover, and he knew that it was going to happen very soon.

"Yes, I'm sure," Sam said sternly as she knocked on the door to apartment 8-D. After a few moments, Mrs. Benson opened the door. She seemed very healthy and happy, while confused as to why Sam, of all people, and Brad was standing at her door with flowers.

"Can I help you?" Mrs. Benson asked in the nicest tone she could fake.

"Yes," Sam said, holding out the flowers to the woman. "These are for you."

"Oh," Mrs. Benson said, confused as she accepted the flowers. The inhaled the sweet scent, but then became suspicious. "Did you poison these?" she snapped at Sam.

"No!" Sam cried, hurt. "Why would you think that?"

"You dislike us!"

"Well, you aren't really my favorite person in the world," Sam admitted. "But Freddie said that you had cancer, and-"

"He said that I had _what_?" Mrs. Benson cut her off.

"He said that yesterday," Brad spoke up.

"Well, I don't have cancer, for your information," Mrs. Benson told the two edgily. "Now, if you excuse me, I have to bleach these and pound them with a mallet." With that, she slammed the door on the two.

"What?" Sam exclaimed. She turned to Brad. "Freddie said that she was sick!"

"Yes, that is true," Brad told her calmly, knowing exactly where this conversation was going.

"But that's insane! He said that he had medicinal marijuana because..." Sam stopped, slowly realizing that the drugs weren't for medical purposes. "He's smoking pot?" she shouted.

"I'm so sorry, Sam," Brad said apologetically, putting his hand on her shoulder. Sam slapped it away and stormed down the hall. "Sam?" he called after her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to kill that nub!" she shouted back, not slowing down. _How can he lie to me after everything we've been through?_ she thought. _No one plays with Samantha Puckett like that and gets away with that! No way in hell is he getting off easy for this!_


	23. Wake Me Up When September Ends

_Summer has come and passed  
>The innocent can never last<br>Wake me up when September ends_

_Ring out the bells again  
>Like we did when spring began<br>Wake me up when September ends_

_Here comes the rain again  
>Falling from the stars<br>Drenched in my pain again  
>Becoming who we are<em>

_As my memory rests  
>But never forgets what I lost<br>Wake me up when September ends_

* * *

><p>Fred walked into the Groovy Smoothie early in the evening. He had just finished smoking a joint in the alley behind the small store, and now he was hungrier than ever. He spotted Carly and Gibby sitting at a table and smirked. He ordered and paid for a Strawberry Splat and sat down with his friends, who seemed concerned that he was there.<p>

"Dude, you smell awful!" Gibby exclaimed.

"Are you...?" Carly asked, sniffing Fred carefully. "You are-!"

"Shh!" Fred hissed, before laughing. Carly and Gibby exchanged a worried look as Fred alternated between cackling and drinking his smoothie. Gibby's phone suddenly went off and he looked at it.

"Oh, chizz!" he cried. "Freddie-!"

"_Fred!_" Fred snapped.

"Either way, you're busted! Sam found out that your mom doesn't have cancer!"

"So?" Fred shrugged and ate some of the fries that were sitting in the middle of the table.

"What do we do?" Gibby asked Carly. Carly just stared at Fred, shaking her head slowly.

"He had it coming to him all along," she said bluntly. "He'll probably get some sense once he realizes that Sam is going to massacre him."

"Fredward Benson!" The sound of Sam's scream made everyone but Fred jump. She stormed through the front door with Brad right behind her. She marched right up to Fred, her face red and her eyes bloodshot.

"Hey, babe," Fred greeted. "What brings you here?"

"I went to see your mom," Sam said, smiling. Carly and Gibby immediately ran to another table; when Sam was immensely upset, she would smile and laugh a lot, a sign that you were dead.

"Don't kill him!" Gibby cried. "We need him for iCarly!"

"Fuck iCarly!" Sam snapped, her hyseterical laughing beginning. Everyone became silent, and Fred calmly sipped his smoothie. "Marissa seems to be in perfect health. _And cancer-free_."

"That's awesome!" Fred said sarcastically. Sam sucked in her breath and struggled not to punch the boy.

"Well, then why did you have '_medicinal marijuana_' for her?" Sam asked, making air-quotes when she said 'medicinal marijuana'.

"Because it was _mine_!" Fred cried. "Mine, all mine!" He began cackling again, while Sam smiled and shook her head.

"You know," she said, "When I fell for you, I thought that I was insane. But now I see that you are the crazy one. You're insane, a drug addict, and hopeless, Fredward Benson, and you will never learn from this."

"And you, Samantha Puckett, are a bitch!" Fred declared. Everyone gasped; insulting Sam like that was basically a death sentence. But miraculously, Sam remained calmer than everyone had expected.

"Then I will go," she said. She picked up Carly's smoothie off of the table and broke the styrofoam cup over Fred's head, letting Carly's Jalepeno Blitz leak onto his head. She shook the last few drops out and dropped it onto his head.

"Fuck you," Freddie hissed.

"You never will again," Sam responded quietly. "Good-bye, Fredward." She turned to her friends, who were astonished. "Good luck finding a replacement." With that, Sam left the Groovy Smoothie, and left a messy scene behind her.

"Replacement?" Carly cried. "Sam!" Carly ran out the door after her best friend. Brad and Gibby walked over to Fred, who hadn't moved an inch.

"You okay, man?" Brad asked gently.

"She'll be back tomorrow," Fred said convincingly. "They always come back."

"Yeah, she probably will," Gibby agreed. "After all, it's Sam." Carly walked back into the Groovy Smoothie, out of breath and red-faced.

"Sam got on a bus and is running away," Carly stated. "And now, our best friend and the co-host of iCarly is missing. How do you feel about that, Freddie?"

"She'll be back tomorrow. They always come back," Fred repeated.

"You better hope so," Carly said. "Because if not, I'm going to stomp your ass into the ground." With that, she left, slamming the glass door shut behind her. Brad let out a low whistle, and Fred wiped the smoothie and pieces of styrofoam from his head.

"Dude, you messed up bad," Gibby told Fred.

"This is all just an act," Fred insisted. "You'll see. She'll come back."

"Yeah, dude," Brad said, staring out the door. "This time, I don't think she's going to believe you. We might as well start accepting the fact that Sam is a goner now, and so are you Benson."

"_She'll be back_," Fred repeated again, sternly. "They _always_ come back."

* * *

><p><strong><em>(Another Small AN- Check out my poll, so that I have an idea what to do next for you guys. You can vote twice, since I might end up doing two at once. The most popular ones are the ones I'm doing first, so if I don't do the one you want, I'll try to get to it later, I promise!)_**


	24. Homecoming: Death of St Jimmy

_My heart is beating from me_  
><em>I am standing all alone<em>  
><em>Please call me only if you are coming home<br>Waste another year flies by  
>Waste a night or two<br>You taught me how to live  
>In the streets of shame<br>Where you've lost your dreams in the rain  
>There's no signs of hope<br>The stems and seeds of the last of the dope  
>There's a glow of light<br>The St. Jimmy is the spark in the night  
>Bearing gifts and trust<br>The fixture in the city of lust  
>What the hell's your name?<br>What's your pleasure and whats your pain?  
>Do you dream to much?<br>Do you think what you need is a crutch?  
>In the crowd of pain. St. Jimmy comes without any shame<br>He says "we're fucked up"  
>But we're not the same<br>And mom and dad are the ones you can blame_

_Jimmy died today_

_He blew his brains out into the bay_  
><em>In the state of mind it's my own private suicide<em>

* * *

><p>Freddie glared at his reflection in the mirror. He had finally sobered up and came home an hour after the scene he had made with Sam. He was still confident that she wasn't gone, but there was a small piece of him that knew that he messed up so badly that she might never actually come back. His hair was still soaked and covered with tiny pieces of styrofoam from the cup Sam broke over his head, but that wasn't as important as confronting Fred.<p>

"_Ladies and gentlemen! Mr. Fredamame Benson!_" Fred said sarcastically, clapping his hands together. "_How's it going, my main man?_"

"Zip it, pothead!" Freddie snapped. "Look what you've done!"

"_What have _I_ done?_" Fred asked. "_I recall all of this being _your _fault, geek._"

"I'm not the one who lied about my mom having cancer!" Freddie protested. "I'm not the one who smokes so much that he ends up a Groovy Smoothie himself! And I most definitely did _not_ break Sam's heart!"

"_Now, all of that is true,_" Fred willingly admitted. "_However, there is something that you did that is the main cause of all of this_."

"Oh, really?" Freddie scoffed. "How could any of this somehow become my fault?"

"_I didn't choose to smoke weed and get high,_" Fred said pointedly. Freddie's face fell as Fred continued explaining himself to Freddie. "_You see, I'm the version of you on drugs, while you are just... you. So no matter how you word it, this will always be your fault._" Freddie stared at the ground in shame.

"I fucked up," he muttered as he fought back tears.

"_Yeah, yeah, just roll up a joint and go ruin some other chick's life,_" Fred said, unamused. Freddie looked up at his alter ego in anger.

"Never again," Freddie whispered.

"_What was that? I couldn't understand you?_"

"Never again," Freddie said louder. He repeated those two words over and over, his voice gettin higher as he said it. Fred became worried, and realized what was going on. "Never again! Never again! Never again!" Freddie finally lost it and punched the mirror. It shattered in millions of pieces, and Freddie realized that now he was free.

Fred was dead.

"Well, well, well." Freddie turned around to see Carly standing in the doorway.

"Hey, Carly," Freddie greeted her weakly.

"Hello, _Fred_," Carly replied coldly.

"Fred is dead," Freddie said sheepishly. "I killed him. It's just Freddie now." He walked over to Carly and let out a sob. "I messed up with Sam real bad."

"Aw..." Carly sighed, hugging Freddie. Freddie hugged her back, crying into her shoulder.

"I really messed up, Carls!" he bawled. "I messed up really bad!"

"No, it wasn't you, Freddie," she coaxed. "It was the drugs talking, not you!"

"Well, Sam ran away because of that! We're never going to see her again!"

"Nonsense!" Carly cried. "We'll go see her! She'll see that you're clean and understand everything!"

"I'm not stoned," Freddie sniffled as he pulled away from his friend. "I'm just fucked up. I'm really fucked now."

* * *

><p><strong><em>(Another AN [sorry!]- If you guys would check out my poll on what you guys think I should write next, that would be awesome! And Freddie is gonna be in some HUGE sh!t soon.)_**


	25. Homecoming: East 12th Street

_Well nobody cares  
>Well nobody cares<br>Does anyone care if nobody cares?_

_Jesus filling out paperwork now_  
><em>At the facility on east 12th st.<em>  
><em>He's not listening to a word now<em>  
><em>He's in his own world<em>  
><em>And he's daydreaming<em>

_He'd rather be doing something else now,_  
><em>Like cigarettes and coffee with the underbelly,<em>  
><em>His life's on the line with anxiety now,<em>  
><em>And she had enough,<em>  
><em>And he had plenty<em>

_Somebody get me out of here_  
><em>Anybody get me out of here<em>  
><em>Somebody get me out of here<em>  
><em>Get me the fuck right out of here<em>

_So far away_  
><em>I don't want to stay<em>  
><em>Get me out of here right now<em>  
><em>I just wanna be free<em>  
><em>Is there a possibility?<em>  
><em>Get me out of here right now<em>  
><em>This life like dream ain't for me<em>

* * *

><p>Carly paid the cab driver as she, Brad, and Freddie arrived at Sam's house. It was in a trailer park, but the trailers were the same size a small home, and had a decent look on the outside. On the inside, the smell of cigarettes and various meats lingered in the air, and Miss Puckett was either passed out on the couch or modeling a size 2 bikini when she was a size 8. The trio walked up to the screen door and gulped as Brad pressed the doorbell. Miss Puckett, who was surprisingly awake, opened the door. Frothy, the three-legged cat, hobbled out the door and past the three teenagers, startling them. Miss Puckett was wearing only a very long pink T-shirt, that, thankfully, went almost down to her knees. None of them wanted to speak, but watched as the older woman lit a cigarette and look a long drag.<p>

"What do you want?" she barked. Brad had never met Sam's mother before, and she was definitely scaring the kid, almost as much as the wailing cat.

"Is Sam here?" Brad asked quietly.

"Who?" Miss Puckett asked. "Do you mean the guy I banged last week?" Freddie felt as if he was going to throw up, and Carly took the opportunity to speak up, knowing that Miss Puckett approved of Carly and her behavior.

"No, Samantha," Carly said. "You're daughter that isn't in boarding school?" The woman ran her fingers through her short, dyed blonde hair as she thought about it. After a minute, her face lit up at the memory of even having a daughter.

"That's right! Sam!" she cried. "She ran away yesterday with all of the money I made washing tables as the local burger joint. A whole five hundred dollars gone to waste!" She gave Freddie a dirty look. "Are you Freddie?"

"Yes, ma'am," he answered. "Why?" Instead of talking, the woman spit on Freddie's face. Freddie became horrified and he wiped off the spit as fast as he could. Brad and Carly just gaped at him.

"She said that was for being a little douchebag!" Miss Puckett declared. She slammed the front door shut and left the teenagers alone.

"Five hundred dollars?" Brad asked weakly. "She could be anywhere in the country by now!"

"We're going to get her back," Carly insisted. "Don't worry, she'll come back eventually. If iCarly doesn't find her first!"

"Why does this feel like an acid burn?" Freddie shouted as he continued wiping spit off of his face. Brad started helping him while Carly made a face.

"Knowing Sam's mom," she said, looking at Freddie's face, "We may need a _lot_ of disenfecting medicines... And a doctor."

"Why a doctor?" Brad asked, confused.

"It's Sam's mom," Carly stated in a 'duh' tone, rolling her eyes. "Her spit alone probably has herpes. Better safe than sorry."


	26. Homecoming: Nobody Likes You

_I fell asleep while watching spike TV  
>After 10 cups of coffee<br>And you're still not here  
>Dreaming of a song<br>But something went wrong  
>But I can't tell anyone<br>'Cause no one's here  
>Left me here alone<br>And I should have stayed home  
>After 10 cups of coffee I'm thinking<br>(where'd you go?)  
>Nobody likes you, everyone left you<br>(where'd you go?)  
>They're all out without you havin' fun<br>(where'd you go?)  
>Everyone left you, nobody likes you<br>(where'd you go?)  
>They're all out without you havin' fun<br>(where'd you go..go..go..go..)_

_Geeze...Ha.._

* * *

><p>Freddie felt as if his entire body shut itself down. His brain didn't function properly, his nervous system didn't let him move, and his heart- if it was even there anymore- was just a gaping black hole, sucking in whatever was left of the broken boy. Brad and Gibby were sitting at the counter, attempting to avoid talking to Freddie at all. Carly was making a new lemonade, which was from a powder container, for everyone's sake, now that she knew how horrible her 'special' lemonade really was. Spencer had been working on a sculpture for the past three hours, and was running back and forth with random objects every now and then.<p>

"Can we talk about the elephant in the room?" Brad asked loudly.

"What did _I_ ever do to you?" Gibby shouted, hurt.

"Not you, Gibster!" Brad exclaimed, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand. "I meant about iCarly."

"What about iCarly?" Carly asked without looking up from mixing her lemonade.

"What's going to happen to it? I mean, without..." Everyone looked at Freddie cautiously. He was staring blankly at the shut-off television, shut off from the outside world. "Look," Brad continued in a hushed tone. "We haven't had a webshow in nearly five weeks. We need to do something before the show runs into the ground permanently!"

"What if it was _me_ and Carly?" Gibby suggested. He braced himself for a chorus of people snapping '_Gibby!_', but instead, Brad and Carly shared a look.

"It'll have to do," Carly muttered. "Anyone want some normal lemonade?"

"Please," Brad said.

"Definitely," Gibby answered. Freddie still didn't say anything.

"Freddie?" Brad asked him. "You alright, man?"

"I remember when Sam was here," Freddie said quietly.

"You mean almost everyday?" Gibby asked, confused.

"This is all of my fault..." Freddie rolled onto his side and cried into one of the throw pillows. Carly sighed and handed Brad and Gibby each a glass on lemonade. She walked around the counter and sat next to Freddie, rubbing his back.

"It's not your fault," she coaxed. "Mostly, anyways."

"It's been almost one month, Carly!" Freddie cried. "She's never coming back, and we all know it!"

"Don't say that!" Carly snapped. "She has a record. She is one of the most popular people in the country. There is a good chance that no matter where she goes, someone is going to recognize her and bring her back! Besides, she has nowhere to go but here and prison!" Freddie said up and wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"Well," Freddie said. "If she isn't here, then where is she?" Just then, Spencer ran downstairs, shouting at the top of his lungs. He tripped and fell down the last few steps, but climbed over the futon and plopped down in between Carly and Freddie.

"Spencer!" Carly exclaimed. "What's wrong?"

"Turn on channel eighteen!" Spencer yelled, reaching for the remote. He turned on the television and changed the channels from the Mexican cooking channel or channel eighteen. Everyone watched the television intensely, their eyes widening when they saw what Spencer was talking about.

"Oh, my gosh," Freddie whispered in amazement.

"Holy chiz," Gibby muttered.

"See!" Spencer shouted. "You guys see this, right?"

"Oh, I see this alright," Carly answered.

"Is that..." Brad wondered. "...Sam?"


	27. Homecoming: Rock And Roll Girlfriend

_I got a rock and roll band  
>I got a rock and roll life<br>I got a rock and roll girlfriend  
>And another ex-wife<br>I got a rock and roll house  
>I got a rock and roll car<br>I play the shit out the drums  
>And I can play the guitar<br>I got a kid in New York  
>I got a kid in the bay<br>I haven't drank or smoked nothin'  
>In over 22 days<br>So get off my case  
>Off of my case<br>Off of my case!_

* * *

><p>"I am here on <em>Seattle Beat<em> with the hit alternative rock band, Green Day," the African-American female reported said to the camera. "Now, Billie Joe, how has life been since your recent divorce?"

"Oh, I've been fine," Billie Joe answered confidentally. "In fact, I have a new girlfriend now."

"Really?" the reporter asked in a fake-surprised tone. "Who is the lucky woman?"

"_This_," he said, reaching over to pull his new girlfriend into the camera shot with him, "Is Regina Goodbody." In the screen was a short woman with her blonde hair pulled back into a sloppy bun. She had a slightly long nose, thin red lips, and bright blue eyes. A red and white striped sweater hugged her torso, and dark bootcut jeans were wrapped around her legs. She had a large smile and a friendly, unrecognizable look.

"Hey there, America!" Regina said into the camera.

"Well, I can see that you guys are happy together," the reporter said.

"They don't call her Regina _Goodbody_ for nothing!" Tre Cool shouted from behind Billie. He and Mike Dirnt high-fived, while Regina giggled and blushed.

"Well, as a quick question, have you heard about the recent tragic event that has been destroying the internet, in most teenager's opinions?"

"Is it about Bin Laden's death?" Mike asked.

"Or how we're having a movie with this mother-effer truly?" Tre teased, tousling Billie Joe's hair.

"Actually," the reporter said, "It's about the disappearing act of internet star Samantha Puckett?" Regina slightly faltered, but managed to keep her cool.

"Who?" the band asked.

"A teenage girl who had run away about one month ago," the reporter explained.

"Well, how about you just buy our album, or see our musical, or something awesome!" Tre shouted. All four of them made 'rock on' hand signs and stuck their tongues out. The reporter laughed and shook her head at the band's crazy antics.

* * *

><p>"Sam is <em>dating<em> Billie Joe Armstong?" Carly shouted at the television.

"And she's using the same alias we used when we went to Los Angeles?" Spencer yelled in Carly and Freddie's faces.

"She's wearing the sweater..." Freddie muttered, fighting back tears at the sound and sight of the blonde-headed demon.

"How did _that_ happen?" Brad asked loudly.

"Do you think Sam will have a four-way with the whole band?" Gibby wondered.

"_Gibby!_"


	28. Homecoming: We're Coming Home Again

_Here they come marching down the street  
>Like a desperation murmur of a heart beat<br>Coming back from the edge of town  
>Underneath their feet<br>The time has come and it going nowhere  
>Nobody ever said that life was fair now<br>Go-carts and guns are treasures they will bear  
>In the summer heat<br>The world is spinning  
>Around and around<br>Out of control again  
>From the 7-11 to the fear of breaking down<br>To send my love a letterbomb  
>And visit me in hell<br>We're the ones going_

_Home_  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>

_I started fuckin' running_  
><em>As soon as my feet touched the ground<em>  
><em>We're back in the Barrio<em>  
><em>But to you and me, that's jingle town<em>

_Home_  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>  
><em>Home<em>  
><em>We're coming home again<em>

_Nobody likes you_  
><em>Everyone left you<em>  
><em>They're all out without you havin' fun<em>

* * *

><p>"...And we're clear," Freddie said in a monotone voice. Carly and Gibby high-fived at the success of yet another Sam-less webcast. It had been one year since they last saw Sam, or 'Regina Goodbody', at all, and they moved on in their own ways. Carly had just grown closer with the iCarly boys and seemed to forget her own best friend. Brad knew better than to talk about herm since he knew that Sam was a sensitive subject to bring up. Gibby was... well, he was still a Gibby. However, in order to keep him quiet, everytime he spoke of Sam, he owed Brad, Carly and Freddie a smoothie. Freddie only went to school, the Groovy Smoothie, and Carly's house whenever he wasn't locked up in his own bedroom. Everywhere he did go, he was quiet and just stared off into space.<p>

"Okay, well now we need to think of things for our next webcast," Brad said as he started working with the editing.

"What?" Gibby asked.

"Brad, we just finished this one," Carly complained. "Can't we wait until our meeting Sunday for this?"

"Do you want some cheese with that whine?" Freddie muttered. Everyone rolled their eyes at his cold comeback.

"We can't put everything off like we did last week, Carls," Brad said. "I mean, we may have lost a lot of viewers in the past year, but we still have over one million of them! We need to make the viewers happy!"

"If you want to make them happy, bring Sam back," Freddie stated.

"Freddie, you need to get over this," Carly told her bitter friend. "She'll get homesick eventually, or she'll get dumped, and then she'll come running back. I mean, she can't be a groupie forever!"

"Actually," Gibby spoke up, "Billie Joe proposed to her, and she accepted. I think that was about one month ago..." Everyone's eyes widened in surprise.

"How did _that_ happen?" Brad asked slowly.

"Well, I was reading this article about the _American Idiot_ tour, and it says that the character Whatsername is replaced. Instead of Naomi Rebecca Jones, it's Regina Goodbody, his fiance." Gibby then realized that he should have kept his mouth shut. He gave Freddie an apologetic look, but Freddie remained unphased by the news. Carly felt too many emotions to express at one time. Brad started typing on his computer. The studio remained silent.

"Look!" Brad cried. "The tour is coming to the Seattle Community Center in two weeks! We need to get tickets!"

"What?" everyone asked. They gathered around Brad, and sure enough, the screen said that the tour was coming to Seattle in two weeks.

"Hold on a second," Carly told the boys, before running out of the studio. "Spencer! We need your credit card!"

"Sam's coming back to Seattle?" Freddie asked weakly.

"Sure looks like it," Brad answered as he looked for available seats. "We can sit right up in the front. What do you guys think?"

"This is perfect!" Freddie cried, ignoring Brad. "I know how to win Sam back!"

"How are you going to do that?" Brad asked.

"Yeah, dude," Gibby added. "You totally broke her heart, remember?"

"I'm going home to practice!" Freddie ran out of the studio, nearly knocking over Carly, who had just opened the door. She regained her balance and Freddie began cackling as he ran out of the apartment.

"Do I want to know?" Carly asked as she handed Brad Spencer's credit card.

"Not really," Gibby answered.

"We're not even sure of what's happening with him," Brad said as he bought five tickets for the musical. "All I know is that he's certain he'll win Sam back."

"What?" Carly cried. "What makes him think that?"

"I have no clue. But I don't think he was high, either."


	29. Whatsername

Freddie sighed and picked up his acoustic guitar slowly. He put the strap over his shoulders and let the guitar rest on his legs. He squirmed on the barstool that he had carried upstairs. He was able to disable the elevator so that it wouldn't stop at the iCarly studio, and had locked himself in the room, remembering to grab the spare key so that no one else would be able to come on it. He knew that there was supposed to be a new iCarly tonight, but he couldn't wrap his mind around it. _American Idiot_ was performing at the Seattle Community Center tomorrow, and Sam was going to be there, and so was Freddie. He was finally going to see Sam and try to win her back. This was going to be the beginning of his plan. He was about to start recording when he heard a knock on the door. Freddie turned to see Carly banging on the glass, and Brad, Gibby, and Spencer standing behind her.

"Freddie!" she shouted through the glass. "Why is the door locked?"

"I locked it," he answered subtly.

"Why won't the elevator open on this floor?" Brad asked.

"Because I disabled it so that it won't be able to."

"How can we do iCarly tonight?" Gibby shouted.

"I was going to be fed cream of mushroom soup as Baby Spencer!" Spencer whined as Carly started knocking on the glass harder.

"None of that is happening tonight, you guys," Freddie told them. The four shared a look before each of them began pounding on the door.

"Let us in! Open the door! We start iCarly soon!" they cried.

"Not tonight," Freddie said. "Just stop banging on the glass, stay quiet, and watch what I do." They obeyed him and watched quietly. Freddie took a deep breath and pressed a button, starting the recording of the webcast. He stared into the camera and struggled to smile. "Hello, America, it's me, Freddie. Tonight, instead of doing something hilarious, I'm going to be doing something solo." He took another deep breath and started playing his guitar. He sighed and began to sing into the camera;

"_Thought I ran into you down on the street  
>Then it turned out to only be a dream<br>I made a point to burn all of the photographs  
>She went away and then I took a different path<br>I remember the face but I can't recall the name  
>Now I wonder how whatsername has been<em>

_Seems that she disappeared without a trace_  
><em>Did she ever marry old what's his face?<em>  
><em>I made a point to burn all of the photographs<em>  
><em>She went away and then I took a different path<em>  
><em>I remember the face but I can't recall the name<em>  
><em>Now I wonder how whatsername has been<em>

_Remember, whatever_  
><em>It seems like forever ago<em>  
><em>Remember, whatever<em>  
><em>It seems like forever ago<em>  
><em>The regrets are useless<em>  
><em>In my mind<em>  
><em>She's in my head<em>  
><em>I must confess<em>  
><em>The regrets are useless<em>  
><em>In my mind<em>  
><em>She's in my head<em>  
><em>From so long ago<em>

_Go, Go, Go, Go.._  
><em>Go, Go, Go, Go..<em>

_And in the darkest night  
>If my memory serves me right<br>I'll never turn back time  
>Forgetting you, but not the time.<em>" Freddie sighed and put his guitar onto the ground.

"Sam," he said slowly, "If you are out there and see this, then listen to this; I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for treating you like dirt, and for doing... certain things... for your attention. I stopped the second you walked out of the Groovy Smoothie, and haven't done it since. Tomorrow, I will be at the showing of _American Idiot_, watching you perform. Then, I will go on stage and finally show you in person how much I care about you. I... love you." Freddie walked over to his computer and ended the webcast there. He took the key and unlocked the studio door. Brad, Carly, Gibby, and Spencer just stood there, staring at Freddie. Freddie stared back at them, and they all remained quiet until Carly gave Freddie a hug.

"I can't believe you did that," she whispered into his ear, fighting back tears.

"Me either," Freddie sighed.

"She's going to take you back Freddie," Carly said. The other boys shrugged and hugged the other two. They didn't let each other go, and just stood there hugging for a few minutes, when they pulled apart, Carly was wiping tears from her eyes.

"What makes you so sure that she'll take me back?" Freddie asked Carly.

"Because no man would do such things as go onto stage during a woman's important performance and try to win her back," Carly breathed. "That, Freddie, takes some huge balls to do." Freddie laughed and hugged Carly, certain that she was right. Sam would be his again, no matter what it took.


	30. When It's Time

Sam loved being Whatsername. She loved being with Johnny/St. Jimmy, and she loved being with Billie Joe. Ever since she ran away, life had turned itself around, and nothing was bad anymore. She poured her heart out, and felt as if the story of Johnny and Whatsername was like the story of Freddie and herself. It made her character stick out more. She went out on stage, sitting at her window and act as if she was falling in love with Johnny. She pretended not to notice her fiance talking with Johnny, when she really wanted to jump onto him and make him remember why Johnny meant nothing to her. She could barely remember what iCarly was anymore, or where the 'Carly' part came from. She just sang her heart out from the first number until they went out on stage with guitars singing 'Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)' to the loving audience. Hopefully, being in Seattle today wouldn't make any of this worse.

"Now, before we go," Billie said after they finished singing, "We have a special treat in the audience. Now, what is one of the most popular kids webshow on the internet today?" Sam gulped. Were her friends really here? Did they even hear about _American Idiot_ before in their lives?

"iCarly!" the younger audience members shouted.

"That's right! It's iCarly!" Billie Joe shouted into the microphone, causing those who responded to cheer. "Come on up here, the cast of iCarly!" Sam watched in horror was Brad, Carly, Freddie, Gibby and Spencer ran up on stage, smiling and waving at the estatic audience. Carly hugged Billie Joe, and Brad and Spencer shook his hand. He was confused about Gibby giving him a hug, but hesitantly hugged him back. Freddie whispered something into his ear, and Billie Joe smiled and handed him his guitar. Freddie walked over to the microphone and took a deep breath.

"Hello, people of the Seattle area," he said. The audience cheered, and he waited for them to stop patiently. "One year ago, iCarly lost it's cohost, Samantha Puckett. I take the blame- I fell into my own troubles- and I want her back. I took the dark path of marijuana, but the day Sam left, I was done. I had my own St. Jimmy, and he is dead now. And now, I'm singing this for her, because it might mean more if I sing it than if John Gallagher Jr. or Billie Joe Armstrong does- no offense."

"None taken," John and Billie Joe said, smiling. Freddie nodded and started playing his guitar. Sam wanted to choke the second he did, but knew that reacting would make her stick out. She stood in silence next to her cast as the boy sang to the audience- although she knew it was really to her;

"_Words get trapped in my mind  
>Sorry I don't take the time to feel the way I do<br>'Cause the first day you came into my life  
>My time ticks around you<em>

_But then I need your voice  
>As the key to unlock<br>All the love that's trapped in me  
>So tell me when it's time<br>to say I love you_

_All I want is you to understand  
>That when I take your hand<br>It's 'cause I want to  
>We are all born in a world of doubt<br>But there's no doubt  
>I figured out<br>I love you_

_All I want is you to understand  
>That when I take your hand<br>It's 'cause I want to  
>We are all born in a world of doubt<br>And there's no doubt  
>I figured out<br>I love you_

_And I feel lonely for  
>All the losers that will never take the time to say<br>What was really on their mind instead  
>They just hide away<br>Yet they'll never have  
>Someone like you to guard them<br>And help along the way  
>Or tell them 'when it's time?, to say I love you'<br>So tell me 'when it's time, to say I love you'_"

The audience cheered even more than they had before. The cast nodded in approval of the boy's talent. Sam tried hard not to do anything. Freddie took the guitar and handed it back to Billie Joe, who smiled. Carly wiped tears from her eyes, while Gibby couldn't stop crying. Brad and Spencer stared at Sam, knowing that she knew exactly what was going on. She was stuck.

"Samantha Puckett," Freddie said, looking towards Sam, "If you hear this, know that I'm sorry, and that I would do anything to take that day back. I love you, and please, come back to iCarly. Come back to all of us. Come back to me, baby." Sam slowly stepped back and slid backstage. Billie Joe saw her and immediately followed her trail back into the dressing room with the name 'Regina Goodbody' on it.

"Regina?" Billie Joe asked. "Is everything alright?"

"No, Billie, nothing is," Sam answered, fighting back the tears building up.

"What's wrong? And why did those kids keep on giving you looks?"

"Because..." Sam mumbled the rest.

"What was that?" Billie leaned forward, and Sam covered her face with her hands.

"I..." The rest was hard to understand through her hands.

"I can't hear you, Regina," Billie laughed, shaking his head.

"I'm not Regina Goodbody!" Sam cried. She started prying off the mask that had been glued to her face for almost one year. Billie Joe watched in amazement and confusion as Sam pulled off her mask and revealled her true face.

"What...?" Billie Joe was too lost to say anything else.

"_I'm_ Samantha Puckett!" Sam cried. It felt good to hear her name, even if it was herself saying it. "I ran away about three days before we met, and I really like you, Billie, I swear! But before I left, Freddie did drugs, and was convinced that he was 'Fred', and eventually, I ran away because he cared more about those damn drugs! That's why whenever I am Whatsername, I feel as if I've already walked a million miles in her shoes! But this doesn't change anything! I have a new life- a better life!- and I can't ever go back to anything like that! All I want is to be here, with the cast, and with you."

"Oh, Regina-" Billie Joe smiled and laughed. "I mean, Sam." He kissed her on the lips and smiled. "Even so, you _are_ Whatsername. No one can play the part like the true Whatsername."

"Thank you so much," Sam said, wiping tears away. "Now, if you excuse me, we need to go somewhere."

"Where?" Billie Joe asked.

"I need to visit some old friends of mine before we head to Los Angeles."


	31. Epilogue: Good Riddance

_Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
>Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go<br>So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
>It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time<em>

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
><em>I hope you had the time of your life.<em>

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind_  
><em>Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time<em>  
><em>Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial<em>  
><em>For what it's worth it was worth all the while<em>

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
><em>I hope you had the time of your life.<em>

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
><em>I hope you had the time of your life.<em>

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
><em>I hope you had the time of your life.<em>

* * *

><p>"After all of that," Freddie mumbled as the elevator jolted upwards. "I sang her two songs, and she still doesn't want me back."<p>

"It's not your fault, Freddie," Carly coaxed.

"Yeah, kiddo," Spencer agreed.

"Maybe she just likes being in _American Idiot_," Brad suggested.

"What are you talking about?" Gibby asked, not understanding that everyone was trying to be considerate to the still-heartbroken Freddie. "She's with Billie Joe Armstrong, for crying out loud! Why would she come back-?"

"_Gibby!_" Brad, Carly, and Spencer snapped. The elevator doors slid open and the five of them headed towards the Shays' apartment.

"All we know is that she knows that you still care," Carly told Freddie. "And I saw her take off once you finished. She must still have some conflicting feelings for you."

"Thanks, Dr. Phil," Freddie said, smirking. Carly rolled her eyes and unlocked her apartment door, only to find Sam and Billie Joe standing at the counter.

"Hey, you guys," Sam said, smiling and waving.

"Sam...?" Freddie breathed. After one year after she disappeared, there she was, wanting to see them again. Or, as he was hoping, there to see him.

"Hello," Billie Joe greeted, waving. Brad stepped in front of Gibby, prepared just in case Gibby wanted to give the rockstar another hug.

"How did you guys get inside?" Spencer asked.

"We climbed up the side of the builing," Sam answered, shrugging. Her old friends gave her confused looks until she and Billie Joe started laughing. Slowly, the others laughed with them.

"She just threatened the doorman with a sock full of butter until he gave her the key," Billie Joe said.

"Sam!" Carly scolded. "Why would you torture Lewbert like that?"

"Because he's gross!" Sam exclaimed. "Have you seen his wart?"

"Who hasn't seen it?"

"Good point..." Everyone shuddered at the mental image of the man's abnormally large wart, and they each felt as if they were going to puke.

"Well, why are you here?" Brad asked.

"I wanted to say two things," Sam answered.

"What was that?"

"Hello and good-bye." Sam walked towards her friends slowly, staring at the floor. "And I've already said hello. So this is the good-bye now." Her friends looked sad, while Billie Joe stood behind his fiance, unsure of what exactly to do. Sam walked up to Brad and hugged him. He gave her a hug back, which only lasted for a few seconds. She then gave Spencer a hug, and he picked her up and spun her in a circle. She laughed, which stopped the second her toes reached the ground again. Sam hugged Gibby, who had to break away quickly because he was crying. Carly's hug was tight, and Sam squeezed her back, never wanting to let go of her best friend. When they both let go, Sam and Freddie just stared at each other.

"Well," Freddie said quietly.

"Well," Sam muttered.

"Wait, you're the supposed St. Jimmy in her life, right?" Billie Joe spoke up.

"Uh, I guess," Freddie answered, puzzled.

"I know that me and Sammy here getting married is probably upsetting to you," Billie Joe began. "But there is one thing that I know about Whatsername and Johnny and St. Jimmy."

"What's that?"

"They may have had one fucked up relationship, but they will never forget a single moment of it." Sam smiled at her fiance's words. Freddie let it all sink in, and then the memories of being 'Fred' came to him. They had fun together, and there was never a dull moment when they were with each other.

"Sam," Freddie said, looking his old friend in the eye. "No matter what happens, I will never forget you. You may never forgive me for what I've done, but I will always love you."

"Freddie..." Sam whispered, but couldn't find the right words. Instead, she just hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and for a moment, he remembered the times they had together. He would never forget Sam, and he hoped that she would never forget him.

"Is this good-bye forever?" he asked her.

"It is for now," she whispered back. She pulled away and wiped tears from her eyes. "I do forgive you, I will never forget you, and I will always love you. Just not the same way you love me. And one day, when I come back, I promise that I'll find you first." Sam took Billie Joe's hand and led him out of the apartment. He shut the door behind them, and everyone stared at the door.

"You alright, Freddie?" Carly asked.

"I don't know," Freddie answered.

"Are you going to cry?"

"I don't know..."

"You're going to cry."

"I know..." Freddie hugged Carly tightly and cried into her shoulder. Carly hugged him back, tears rolling down her cheeks. Brad sighed and wrapped his arms around Carly and Freddie. Spencer wrapped his own arms around his little sister, and Gibby hugged Freddie. They sat there, remembering the last time they ever saw their best friend. Nothing would ever be the same for iCarly ever again, and all they could do was move on.

* * *

><p>"Ahhh!" Billie Joe and Sam cried. They stuck their tongues out and fanned them with their hands, trying to get rid of the burning sensation on their tongues.<p>

"T-Bo!" Sam barked. "Bring us water!" Within seconds, T-Bo placed two glasses of water on the table. Billie Joe and Sam immediately began chugging the water, slamming down their glasses and heaving.

"And _that's_ why it's called a Jalepeno Blitz!" T-Bo exclaimed, a large grin on his face. Sam glared at him, and he backed away slowly.

"Why would you buy us that?" Billie Joe panted.

"Because of the amazing aftertaste!" Sam answered happily. Billie Joe thought about it for a moment, before nodding in agreement.

"So, is this really where you used to hang out?" he asked.

"Of course. I came here more than I went to school!"

"I can see why." Billie Joe chuckled to himself about how much he never knew about Sam. He guessed that was the beauty of having his own Whatsername. "Are you going to put on the mask for the rest of the tour?"

"No. It's better they know me for me and not my alias for when I crashed that party at Kenan Thompson's house..." Sam said, shrugging.

"You crashed a... Never mind." Just then, Sam's face lit up.

"Oh, my god!" Sam exclaimed.

"What?" Billie Joe asked, confused.

"Come with me!" Sam stood up and ran for the bathrooms immediately. Billie Joe followed her, only to come across a disgusting one-person restroom. The white walls and floors were covered in old smoothies and dirt. It seemed as if no one had cleaned the place in a year.

"Why are we here?" he asked.

"That's why," Sam answered, pointing to to top of the far wall. There was a red handprint, and above it, the words 'SAINT SAMMY' were written. "I wrote that on there a year ago."

"Wow," Billie Joe whispered in awe. He looked over as Sam pulled out a thick red crayon and small blade from her pocket. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you think that your name deserves to be up there, too?" Sam asked, holding out the items in her hand to Billie Joe. He grinned devilishly and took the crayon. Above Sam's name, he wrote 'SAINT JIMMY' in large letters, and a plus sign in between what he wrote and what Sam wrote. He then took the blade from her hand and made a long cut across his palm. He let the blood seep through the wound and cover his entire left hand before putting his own handprint next to Sam's fading handprint. He took some paper towels and wrapped them around his cut and stared at his work in pride. The two admired the wall for a few moments before heading back to their table.

"Well, I guess no one can forget you now," Billie Joe teased.

"They won't forget either of us," Sam replied. "And neither will I, from the day we met until we die."

"Most definitely." The two smiled and kissed each other softly on the lips. They didn't break eye contact as they took another sip of their smoothies. It only took them a matter of seconds to realize that it was a Jalepeno Blitz. They lunged for their glasses and started drinking as much water as they could. They slammed the cups down, both laughing at their immaturity.

Sam sighed. "Some things just never change."

* * *

><p><strong><em>(AN- And now the story is done! It ended as a Seddie friendship, so sorry to all of those who wanted the story to end with them doing it or swapping spit or anything like that. So remember, please please please please go find my poll on my profile and vote so I have some idea of which story to start first! You guys rock! And we're all American Idiots! [I feel corny now...])_**


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